CHRYSALIS - FRED WEASLEY

CHAPTER 20

"Good evening," Dumbledore says, his soft voice resonating so clearly, the room instantly falls silent. "I imagine after all these months spent here, you are all expecting an update on our progress thus far."

The crowd murmurs, and Fred and Lillie glance at each other. Dissent has been brewing amongst the ranks of the newest recruits of the Order. Fueled by teenage contrarianism unconvinced of Dumbledore's grip on the situation, many of the members have been questioning the effectiveness of their presence. From outside the Order's inner circle, the Death Eaters are winning; Muggle and Wizard deaths are higher than even the first Wizarding War, sympathizers are flocking to join You-Know-Who like crows, and Harry Potter is public enemy number one. Many are wondering what, exactly, the point of all this is.

"I apologize for having kept you all here so long. Know that your work is not idle--you are here to keep the students of Hogwarts safe, this much has not changed. The nature of your task is placid, even boring," he jokes, smiling knowingly, "But very soon, it may not be so dull. I want you all here, ready, when that day comes."

A few wizards in the crowd nod, others simply keep their arms crossed and their gazes narrowed. The Daily Prophet, it seems, has begun to infiltrate even the most devoted members of the Order.

"While I cannot disclose my own plans, know that I am working tirelessly to defeat Lord Voldemort, and I believe," he frowns, "I know that with your help, we will."

The crowd stirs again, struck by Dumbledore's certainty and his use of You-Know-Who's true name.

Always with a flair for the dramatic, Dumbledore ends his speech here, turning to where Kingsley and Moody stand near his desk. Fred looks around at the crowd, fully assembled for only the second time since they arrived. Then, he looks down at Lillie, who watches Dumbledore speak to Kingsley at the front of the room; he can tell she's trying to read their lips.

"What are they saying?" he asks quietly, bending his head to talk in her ear.

"I don't know, I'm really bad at reading lips," she says, still lost in concentration. Fred laughs and shakes his head. He can't help but remember the last time he was here, how different his life has become. When he was forced to close Weasley's Wizard Wheezes due to the growing number of attacks on Diagon Alley and his duty to the Order, Fred was convinced his life was over. So juvenile were his anxieties, he realizes now, after knowing what Lillie went through. He'd give up pranks forever if it meant staying here, with Lillie, for the rest of his life. His fears have transformed before his eyes, from losing the shop to losing her.

He'll never forget the feeling of seeing her walk through that fireplace. The way his heart leapt from his chest, like a Muggle cartoon; how his legs turned to pudding when he saw her bright, tanned smile. He actually had to grip George for support, though he disguised it as a nudge.

Fred knows he still doesn't have Lillie; not really, not in the way he so desperately wants. Needs. It keeps him awake at night, this fear, tossing in his bunk until George kicks up from the bottom like a donkey. He lost her so quickly the first time. In the time of a blink, of a cough, of a flap of a bird's wing or the splash of a mermaid's tail, she was gone. As sure as he was that he had won, that he had beaten Charlie, she fell through the gaps of his fingers like soft fine sand.

For a brief moment, she chose him and he chose her and all was well in Fred's world. His planets had aligned, a once in a lifetime conjunction that brought his solar system back together as they spun around her, their new center of gravity.

Winning, he reminds himself, was his problem all along. Planetary conjunctions are fleeting and rare; they last for only a few weeks before the planets pass each other by, continuing their journey around the sun. She wasn't won, nor lost, like some spoil of war in a Greek tragedy. She simply passed him by. If, in this poorly executed metaphor for Fred's love life, Charlie is a meteor, Fred's pride is a black hole, swallowing his perfect universe until nothing remained.