One way or another [Daryl Dixon]

[11] CRAZY GAME YOU PLAY.

"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only option you have."
-Anonymous

I kept my head up high and my shoulders slightly back, avoiding the nervous feeling in my gut. Everyone said, "Fake it till you it." This was going to be difficult to pull off, especially given Merle's plans; it was a suicide mission.

So I changed the plan, Captain Hook over here wanted to charge in full force, using music to attract walkers to the meeting point. It would have been a better idea if we had more people, but with only the two of us, we needed the element of surprise to catch the governor off guard. So, after a little disagreement with Hook, which ended up with us both insulting each other. We went with my plan.

After abandoning the car a few miles back, I figured it would be safer to walk the rest of the way through the forest, scouting the area before settling in and hiding. Merle was covering our footprints in case there were any patrols out here with us; after a while of walking, it was time for a little break to refuel before the attack.

The trees stood tall around us, birds flying above or nestling in the branches, oblivious to our existence. It bothered me that I felt more free during the apocalypse than I did when life was considered normal. Not much has changed, I was surviving then and that's what I'm doing now. These people took me in and introduced me to their families, they have no idea what I've been through.

What I did.

Who I was.

What I had lost.

We've all lost something; I lost a piece of myself before the turn and am desperately fighting to fix that part. Pretend it didn't happen. It haunts my dreams, my thoughts, and my life. When I close my eyes, all I can see is that single bullet going from the barrel of the gun and into his head, the malicious smile on the murderer's face. The same moustache and grey hair.

The same man who kidnapped Aiden.

"Why are ya helpin' me sunshine?" Captain Hook asked. Guilt was lurking in his eyes and written all over his face.

I looked up, hoping to offer him some solace. "You remind me of someone."

He didn't say anything for a split second, and the only sound filling the silence was the birds chirping in the trees and the faint hum of bees surrounding us. He lowered his gaze before meeting mine again, stroking his hand over his hair. "Can I ask who, or am I gonna get an arrow in the ass?"

"You'll get an arrow in the ass." I grinned.

"My baby brotha used to say tha' to me all the time." Merle hesitated for a second before continuing. "He used to chicken out a lot when we were younger. I'd tell him 'if ya can't run with the big dogs, stay under the porch." I didn't understand a word of redneck, and there was no use in trying to figure it out, so I kept quiet and waited to see where this was heading. Merle's eyes glistened with tears, but he was too stubborn to let them fall. "Biggest mistake I ever made was doing wrong by my baby brotha." His head shook.