Ayanokoji struggles through realizations

"That boy needs therapy"

Ayanokoji pov
Whispers.
Whispers is something that I've always known.
Be it from the researchers.
The adults who wanted to know about the progress of the faculty.
Or simply just from my own mind.
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"It seems to be getting ride of his emotions " a American voice whispers.
"Yea , at such a young age to. its sure to leave some marks later in life dont you think" another one whispers back.
"I bet he cant even feel a single thing, poor boy" another adds in.
People truly will run their mouth on everything.

~

Ayanokoji pov
"Hey kiyopon have you gone anywhere out the country?" haruka asked.
"Eh?" I answered back.
It seems i got to caught up in reminiscing...
"Haaa Kiyotaka-kun seems like the type to just stay inside his whole life" Keisei answered back.
"Your one to talk" Akito insulted.
"G-guys come one now" Airi stuttered, looking at the pair frantically.
"Have you thought kiyotaka" haruka whispered next to me.
I stayed silent for a few moments.
"Yes.." I answered.
"Oh." She said looking at me surprised.
"Mhm, i went to New York with my father when i was around 14." I continued, "went to paris as well with my mother"

~

I wont get into detail with those memories.
Father was furious when he learned about paris.
So much yelling and questions.
Father always loved to shout....

~

"Got any souvenirs while you where there?" Keisei asked.
"No" i answer quickly.

~

I did get one.
The people who came and got us had grabed us a little to tight. On bad days i can still feel it, Can even imagine the mark that it left.

~

"Ehh, thats boring" haruka said.
"It's getting dark maybe we should head back?" Airi said, seemingly sensing the tension.
"Your right" haraka agreed standing up.
"Come on little ducklings away we go"she yelled marching away.
"Shut up" Keisei yelled,standing up as well and yelling as he walked.
Everyone followed suit.

~

In the safety of my dorm I remembered.
Remembered when father found out
And asked mother what it was all about
And she said "Oh it's nothing."
But dad loves to shout, really loud.
Loud enough to knock the lamps and dressers to the ground.
And in my memory, I can whispers in the back of my mind.
A slow train wreck, you'll close your eyes
But forever hear the sound.
Cause thats the sound of people falling out of Love.
And i lost myself in that safety.
Lost myself completely.

~

To lose oneself so completely, yet not know your broken until the last very second, that is true blindness, that is true and crippling insanity.