Before the Teardrops Fall

1: My new neighbor

The rain slapped hard against the window as I opened my eyes after what felt like an eternity of sleep. I shook my head to fight off the throbbing ache. As I sat up, I noticed I was lying on my side of the bunker bed in the students' dormitory- again.

There was the familiar scent of brown jotter books and old-fashioned hair gel. The ceiling fan tattled noisily above. The sun outside the window was blocked by a green and blue plastic blinder, below it the study table was crowded with books, pens, towels, and singlets. The white walls were yellowing and clad randomly with posters of Elvis Presley, Bruce Lee, A-Go-Go disco ladies, and Bee Gees. The colors were still bright and vivid.

I sighed loudly with relief when I saw that I was alone in the room. The last time I was spun here, I woke up to see my old room mates chattering around me. It was definitely awkward seeing them again, all lean and skinny and young like we once were during our college days, as I could not tell them what I was going through — that I had been stuck in a time loop.

As much as I knew no one would believe what I say, more importantly, I no longer remembered how and when this magic from the pocket watch all started. There was an immense headache whenever I tried to recall how long I had been trapped in this time loop. And I had been wondering if I was living in a dream or actually dead and in my own heaven, or hell, or whatever this was.

Like a dream, I was able to wake up in different times of my life - In my dormitory when I was still a student, and then the time with Elena in her ward. What scared me the most was not being able to remember which time I was presently in. Did I spin into the future, or was I spun back to the past?

My guess was that the time with Elena in her ward must be in the future as I did not have any old recollection from that scene. In the student's dormitory, flashes of old memories would come flooding in letting me know this was in the past.

In the beginning, I was in shock as I did not understand what was going on. After X number of times in the loop, my confusion gave way to frustration. And then desperation, when I came to witness Elena struggling in a fit on the hospital floor with her mouth foaming from the bottle of pills she swallowed just minutes before I was spun in.

From that time on, I was gripped by fear whenever the clouds came to spin me off. I was afraid to see Elena in that state again. I had no idea what was happening to her during that time as she did not seem to recognise me nor responded to me whenever I spoke to her. Still, I had to do something about it. So I started to look for clues and information in her ward. I could not find anything the past few times I was there, but this time, it was different.

The information from Elena's case notes were a step forward. For one, I found it hard to believe that Mr and Mrs Lin had died in a car crash. Elena's families and mine were close. I was sure my mum would have told me about it, if not Elena herself.

Snapping out from my thoughts, I checked the paper calendar hanging on the wall - 5 July 1977. It was the same date. I looked under the bunk bed and dragged out my old suitcase. I found my metallic tin box in it, which contained the letters and gifts Elena had given me ever since she moved into our neighborhood 4 years ago.

The tin lid was tightly sealed and I forced it open. Fumbling through the contents, I searched for the last dated letter from Elena and realized I had not read it because the envelop was still sealed. I unfolded the letter and read.

Dearest Ron,

How are you doing? Are you still burrowed neck deep in papers? Haha. You must be busy since you did not reply to my last letter. Still, I hope you take some time off to relax!