Before the Teardrops Fall

5: I'm with you

I opened my eyes to a swirl of lights. I took a deep breath and let my eyes adjust to the scene. This time, I was sitting down - inside a toilet cubicle. I huddled down in pain and held on to my head as the wave of headache came over me. I stood up and opened the door, reaching for the sink to wash my face.

Checking my reflection in the mirror, I thought that I looked like my late twenties self. My clothes were different this time. I was wearing an unfamiliar white shirt with denim pants. I reached into my pocket and found the pocket watch. There was something else - the flyer of "Moonlight Disco" that I picked up from the street. I wondered to myself if I was inside the nightclub. The restroom looked fancy with gold rimmed mirrors and marble counter tops. There was no one else in the rest room.

The surroundings and atmosphere felt extremely unfamiliar and I was overwhelmed with fear and anxiety. I had no recollection from this place - this lux looking restroom - and I had no idea why I was here, and how I got here. I opened the pocket watch and saw the dials read "1, 9, 9, 0". It was where I wanted to go. I stood in silence for a moment as I tried to recall how my life was like in the year of 1990. Nothing.

Someone came in the door and went for the toilet. I caught myself in a daze and snapped out of my thoughts. There was only one way out now, and that was to step out, literally. I took a deep breath and opened the rest room door. Outside, it was the interior of a fancy restaurant with a cosy ambience. The kind you would go to once in a while to celebrate an important occasion and say "cheers". The diners were dressed like in the 90's. Like me, the men were in denim pants and buttoned shirts. Their hair was combed back in different angles, some parted in the side, and some with center parting. I was wearing my thin-rimmed glasses like many other diners in the restaurant. The ladies were in long dresses with floral prints, polka dots, and bright colours. Some were in heavy make up with eye liners on their lower eyelids, others wore a fancy head band.

I scanned the area, making my way slowly, aimlessly around the tables, hoping to find something. A clue, or a hint of what I was going to do here, who I was with. And then, I saw her.

Elena was sitting by one of the tables near the large windows. There was a melancholic look on her face as she sat leaning against her knuckles gazing out the window. The city view outside was bright and busy in the night. I could see the City Hall building in the distance. We must be in a restaurant in town. I remembered I used to have a favourite restaurant around the area. I noticed there was no food on our table yet. My heart was in my throat as I made my way slowly towards her. A million thoughts flashed through my mind. I wanted to greet her but swallowed my words when she looked up. I really did not know what I should say.

I sat down, the menu laid opened on the table. I picked it up and pretended to scan it. The menu was not from "Moonlight Disco". Elena asked "Did you want something else? I thought you were in love with the steak here". I softened at the sound of her voice, at least that was something familiar. I picked up my courage, put down the menu and looked up at her. She looked beautiful in an off shoulder cream-coloured dress with her hair in soft curls above her shoulder. She must be 26 years old. I was lost for words and just managed a chuckle and a "Yes, steak is good".

Throughout the meal, I was glad Elena did most of the small-talks. Half the time during our conversation, I was distracted by my own thoughts about what I should do next. I couldn't pay attention to what she was saying and could only smile and chuckle in response. Although she was less chirpy than her younger self, she did not look as miserable as the time in her aunt's place. She smiled brightly during the conversation and I could see she was in a good mood. That being said, I could still make out the dark rings beneath her eyes and how tired she must have looked underneath her makeup. I still had a lot to find out about her and I needed to decide what I should ask now.

"What's wrong, you are awfully quiet today" Elena asked quietly, her eyes looking down at her steak while she cut out a slice. There was a silence, and my mind and heart raced faster than the rocket to the moon. What should I say? Could I tell her about the time loop? No, that will definitely just freak her out. I need to say something NOW...

"Nothing's wrong" I managed a smile as I stuffed the mashed potatoes in my mouth. Elena looked down again. Obviously, that was not convincing. I cleared my throat "Ahem.. erm.. Elena, are you... happy?"

Elena stopped cutting her meat, her head still looking down, she froze. Something was wrong.

"Elena, are you happy? Tell me what's happening." I asked as I laid down my fork. From the window, I could see the flash of lightning in the sky. No. Not now, please. Just a while more.

Elena lifted her face but looked away. Her eyes were red. She grabbed her purse and said while she stood up to leave "I think I should go, the kids are waiting for me."

"No, Elena! Wait!" I grabbed hold of her hand but she winced in pain. As I let go of her, I looked down at her wrist and saw the slight bruises on her arm. She turned and walked out the door briskly. I hurried over to the counter and settled the bill then rushed down the stairs only to see Elena getting into a taxi and disappearing down the road.

I was too late, again.
Raindrops started falling and I started to hear the shushing sand. There was no time to think about what went wrong. If Elena was already married here and had her kids, then I should go back earlier in time. The bruises on her arm were already there even before she was in the ward. I needed to find out who had been doing this to her. I would do all that I could to make her happy again. I would. And I could try again.

I ran out into the rain in search of other shelter. I must prepare for the spin to take place. Then, realising there was no other buildings around, I ran towards the tree by the road. I was racing against time as I sped up to match the speed of the sand shushing down. The storm had already swept overhead and the sand in the hourglass were rushing like waterfall. I hunched over the pocket watch and fumbled with the rims. This time, I would make it in time.

As I turned the rims with my finger nails, the tree started swaying in big frantic circles, I felt my body being picked up by the wind and clutched on tight to a nearby branch. Leaves and twigs were slapping on my face. I must be as high as the canopy now. My hair and glasses were dripping from the rain. I struggled as I made the final turn on the last rim and let my body get sucked into the spin.

Just one more time. Let me make it in time.