The Affair

Chapter 49

Hannah's POV

A few weeks later...

I decided not to resign as work was really starting to get good and I knew Ethan hadn't as my Dad kept me up to date with what was going on. The only good thing I had going for me at the moment was my job. It was hard hearing about how well he was doing and not being able to talk to him and him know how proud I was of him. I was finishing my Friday evening at work. Kate poked her head round the door and she smiled "Hey. How did you go with your first meeting on your own?" she asked. 

"Yeah it was good. I can't believe this is happening though. Im finally a lawyer. I never thought I would see myself back here though as a lawyer. I thought I needed to get away because I would never get treated fairly but everyone has been amazing and you have been amazing," I said. 

"All the matters is you are amazing at your job and we are lucky to have you here. Anyway some of us are going to have a few drinks tonight if you fancy it?" Kate asked. 

"I should really go home... I'm not great company Kate. Not at the moment anyway," I said to her. 

"After everything you should come out Hannah. Just a few drinks with some work mates. I'll only be having a few anyway cause I've got to get home to Jack," 

She stood there with pleading eyes "Ok just a few drinks," I said to her. I got my bag and followed her out. We walked down a few streets until we reached a bar. We went inside and went to order drinks Kate turned to me "I'll get the first ones. What do you fancy?" she asked. 

"White wine please," I said. 

"Can I get a white wine and a red wine please?" Kate asked the bar tender. 

The bar tender poured some drinks and she paid and and we went over to a table with a few other employees at the firm and we sat down together. I was having a good time. When it was my turn to get a round in I went the bar and waited for the bar tender to come over. It was very busy in the pub. As I waited I felt someone brush against me "I am so sorry," I heard a voice say. I turned around to face them "It's fine honestly," I said. 

As my eyes locked onto his I saw who it was. The person I hadn't seen for a few weeks until we bumped into each other at work. Ethan. 

"Hannah...," he said. 

"Ethan...," I said. 

We stood looking at each other for moment. 

"You didn't resign," we both said at the same time. 

"No I didn't. I've been getting on really well and I guess part of me after bumping into you wanted to but I just couldn't bring myself to do it," Ethan said.

"After everything you still stayed?" I asked.

Kate came over "What is taking so long?" she asked. She then looked at me and then Ethan "Oh... hi Ethan,"

"Hi Kate," he said. 

I looked at Ethan "Why don't we get out of here? Go talk," I suggested. 

Ethan nodded "Ok," he said. 

Kate smiled at me "I'll see you Monday. If you need a chat please ring me," she said. I smiled back at her "Thank you Kate," I said. 

Ethan and I left the pub and we stood on the street "Where do you want to go?" I asked him. 

"Can we go to your place? My Mom will be at home now. I think we should talk ans have some privacy," he said. 

I nodded. Ethan got us a cab and we went back to my place. We went inside and I put the lights on "Would you like a drink?" I asked. 

"Yeah that would be nice," Ethan said. 

I went to the kitchen and got two glasses and pulled a bottle of white wine from the cupboard. I poured out two and handed one to Ethan. We then sat down at the breakfast bar together. I took a sip of wine and turned to him. Ethan looked at me "How have you been?" he asked. 

"Not that good. The only thing I've had going for me is work. After the miscarriage I never went back to work until I moved to Dad's firm. I spent a few weeks staying at home again with Mom and Dad to try and get over everything. The loss I had. I hadn't just had to deal with losing the baby but I lost you too," I said. 

"I'm sorry. It can't have been easy for you but I had to go. I couldn't deal with what happened. I was heartbroken," 

"I am so sorry for how it has all happened. About the lies I told and the way I had acted. I hurt you and I am really sorry," 

"I want to hear the truth about what happened. No matter how bad it is. I never let you explain before but I want to hear it now. I need to know,"

"Where do I start? Caleb and I, we had some of this sexual tension. The first time we slept together he told me that if we did it again he didn't want me seeing you so that's why I cooled things off. But then the more times we slept together the more guilty I felt. Then seeing you in the office every day my heart wanted you. I ended things with him to be with you. Then in Boston after we said we wanted to see how things went we had a huge argument and we slept together. I regret it as soon as it happened. After then we did sleep together a few more times. Caleb just knew how to get into my head and when he did I couldn't stop what was happening. A week after Boston though we spent more time together and things started to get good between us and then you met my parents. I was starting to fall in love with you and then of course everything blew up and I found myself pregnant and then I wasn't anymore," I explained to him.

I sat watching him take it all in. I took a gulp of wine waiting for him him say something "So you never slept with him after we made things official?" He asked.

"No never. I admit we slept together a few times after we spoke about we were going to see if dating came naturally to us both but when we did start liking dating each other I never went anywhere near him,"

"I still hurts that you weren't honest with me. You told me about sleeping with a married man but you lied and told me it was someone else. You could have told me it with Caleb. I wouldn't have thought anymore less of you. I certainly wouldn't have told his wife. You could have trusted me. You could have told me anything at that point. It wouldn't have changed how I felt about you,"

"I am so sorry. I am sorry i ruined everything. We were getting so good. The reason i didn't tell you it was Caleb was because I thought you would hate me and I didn't want to risk losing you,"

"Yet you lost me anyway by lying to me. You lied about the baby to. You could have to me everything Hannah. I would have supported you if I had the truth to start with,"

Talking about all of this was too much. I got up from the breakfast bar and went out onto the balcony into the cold air. I stood looking out at the streets below me. I then heard Ethan step out onto the balcony. He was stood behind me.

"I don't think I can do this anymore Ethan. Going over and over the biggest mistakes of my life. It's too hurtful,"

"Hannah... I left you when you were vulnerable and I'm sorry for that too,"

"I understand. I hurt you. But I can't keep going through this over and over. I want to be alone Ethan. Can you go please?"

"What if I told you I wanted to stay?" He asked as his hand reached out to touch mine softly.