apocalypse

Betrayal

Songs: I Found - Amber Run and The End of All Things - Panic! At the Disco

Iwaizumi slowly opened his eyes. His body shook and sweat soaked through his t-shirt. He should have been used to the nightmares by now, but no matter how many times he lived through them, they didn't seem any less real.

It was dark outside his bedroom window, the moon being the only source of light coming through the curtains. The apartment was quiet with sleep, the past week's events exhausting all of them. He must have passed out as soon as they had gotten back from the hospital.

The doctors made him stay for two nights. They had hooked him up to an IV and bandaged his wounds. Kuroo must have some pull there because the police never showed up and no one asked questions.

His body was frail from both the physical trauma and the memories that followed him even in sleep. He turned over, expecting to see Tooru drooling on his pillow, but he was awake, his eyes staring up at the ceiling. Tears were running down his face, staining the sheets.

"Tooru? Why are you still awake?"

"I could ask you the same question," he responded, his sobs stuck in his throat.

"Nightmares," Hajime said, running his hands through his sweat-soaked hair.

Oikawa nodded. "No matter what I do, I can't escape it. The thoughts follow me everywhere."

"At least we're alive. There's something," Iwaizumi said, grasping Oikawa's hand under the sheets. Almost all of Tooru's fingers were bandaged. Where Hajime's nails were cut out, Oikawa's were ripped out.

Tooru sighed, his tears falling harder now. "That's the thing. I wish we weren't. Maybe in death, we could find peace."

"Aren't you scared of death?" Iwaizumi asked, pulling Oikawa's body close.

"Not of death. I think there's a beauty in that, but I am scared of dying. I think there must be a difference between the two," he said, wrapping his arms around Hajime.

"I feel the same way, Tooru," Iwaizumi said, breathing in Oikawa. He smelled like green apple shampoo and sweat.

"Do you remember what I said at the art show last spring? About the apocalyptic exhibit?"

Of course he remembered. Iwaizumi clung on to every word Tooru said. "Do you still believe that? That there is nothing after this life?" Hajime asked.

"I don't know anymore. Being so close to death this many times has made me hope that that isn't true. When I die, I either hope to see you on the other side or know that one day you'll be there with me. If there were nothing after death, then we would never see each other again," Oikawa said, squeezing Hajime tightly around the waist.

Iwaizumi started to cry then, his tears falling silently. "You should sleep, Tooru. You'll feel better in the morning," he said quietly, trying to keep his voice from shaking.

"Goodnight, Iwa. Hopefully tomorrow will be better for us," he said before slowly falling into a fitful sleep, squirming in Hajime's arms throughout the night.

. . .

Morning came soon enough, and Kuroo called them all into the living room just like old times.

No one sat in Bokuto's place, the gap was like a wound between them. Bokuto's absence was felt amongst the group, but Akaashi had taken it the hardest. He had this look of despair on his face, and he seemed lost. Iwaizumi ran his hand over the empty cushion, knowing that he was the one to blame and hating himself for it.