The Unpublished Poems

~talking to myself~

Lately it seems I've been talking to myself again
Saying the things inside of my mind it seems no one else will
Life's gotten a little crazy again, yet not
Complicated, unless it was all just a dream
But you open your eyes and what?
Begin it all again?
Maybe it's not true but lately I've been feeling out of reach
So I'll stay in this little corner
Try to convince myself I'm not hurting, I have no reason to be sad
In the hopes that maybe it will make the pain fade
I write my stories and try to find inspiration
Trying to find something worth holding onto
Because lately my legs are unsteady
And the words I never said
Stay inside my head
Next to the words I'll never say
So I talk to myself,
Daydreaming and thinking
Really just hoping
For something to happen,
Someone to let me know
That things will be okay
Everything seems uncertain
Trust seems to be gone,
At least fractured
Trying to challenge those thoughts
Trying to put my thoughts down even as my hands are shaking
All around me life is going on
But I'm still
Thinking and hoping
Holding onto all those words I never said
In my mind I think I'm
Crying something out
No matter
Carry on
I'm not speaking again,
But not
It seems familiar, though, this silence
Days stretching by with no end in sight
Yet the promise of a different time seems like it's hanging over my head, just out of reach
Half broken
Half healed
Maybe
I'm not sure
How did I used to live like this?
I don't know,
I find the words I once wrote
I see and I feel
For the person I barely was able to survive being
Even now
Change looms around the corner
Another loop, another place
I put my headphones in
To make the silence go away
To try to make those thoughts
At least not heard
I tell myself the things I try hard to believe
And maybe they would change things
Maybe they could
It's hard to know
When you're fighting for survival
Against you
See, now I remember,
This need to be heard,
It's what makes me continue
In the hopes someone will see
Here's your proof:
I was here,
And yes, I know there's a lot I don't know
I'm not saying I know it all
But this gives me a feeling of control
So I'll take it
For now
Hoping
Really just hoping it will work out
Trying not to focus on one aspect of life on its own
Think, think,
And ignore the rest
I'm not in the mood to be alone
And yet
I don't care if the world goes on
I'm just trying to breathe
If I had a direction, seems a lost it
These words are all I can hold onto right now
I'm trying to write them
Even if it's all I can do
✏️✏️✏️✏️✏️✏️
Just me. My thoughts. I don't know.
-🌌
Yep, it's me still. Galaxy.*waves*