The Dark War - The Mortal Instrument Fanfic

Chapter 10

Short chapter. I will begin my new job tomorrow so will have less time to update my stories just so you guys know.

“He doesn’t want to see me…” Clary´s voice said. Jace felt so bad for not being there for her. The pain in her voice was almost crushing him. He was standing outside the infirmary of the institute. It had been three weeks since the war and they had moved every wounded shadow hunter to different institute. Clary had been moved with them with a lot of arguing with the Clave.

Jace was standing in the doorway and was looking in at her. He wondered where it all had gone wrong. Why he couldn’t make himself to be there for her. Why he was more afraid now that she was awake then before.

Jace left and found himself outside the music room. he went direct to the piano and rememred the first day Clary had been here. he had played for her and later that night he had kissed her. Why did h kiss her? He knew he would always love Clary. But was love enough? Could it really concurred everything?

The door opened and Izzy was standing there

“Hi..” she said

“Hi, how is she?” he said and looked over at his sister. A long silence was between them and izzy was fiddling with her finger and looking down. Jace stopped playing

“Izzy.. How is she?” He asked again. This time Izzy met his eyes

“Not good.. Magnus thinks we need to prepare ourself for the worst” she said and a sob erupted from her throat

“The worst?” he asked

“She was awake a while ago… she asked for you… and then… she just collapsed and stopped breathing…” another sob

“S-stop breathing?” he asked. This time afraid. He had spent months of thinking they wre siblings and then the truth were told and they could be togheter but then he was possessed and they couldn´t be togheter, not really after that she agreed to be Sebastian queen to save everyone and now, she had been laying in the infirmary for weeks and he hadn’t been in there with her once and now Izzy was telling him that Clary had stopped breathing and  before that she had asked were he was.

“Yeah..” she said

“I´m such an idiot!” he said

“You are a idiot” Izzy agreed “Go down to her. Be there for her… even if it is in her last moments… she only has us left you know. Both Luke and her mother are dead and we all knew she would to way more than this for you..”

Jace left the room. sprinted towards the infirmary and stopped abruptly outside when he heard Magnus and Clary´s voices

“Clary, if you want me to help you I need to know what happened!”

“No, I can´t tell you”

“Why not? I´m 700 years. I can handle it!”

“Really?” she challenged

“Really” Magnus agreed. Jace slowly and quiet opened the door and stood there. Tears was running down Clary´s cheeks

“So you can handle the fact that I killed my father? That I tortured you? That I heard Simons screams of pain but didn´t do anything about it. That I let myself have sex with a damn demon in a storage room at a club and later the same night have sex with my brother?! How can you handle it when not even I can handle it?!” she screamed at Magnus. Jace stood there shocked. He didn´t want to be there anymore. She was obviously not dying. He was just about to turn around and leave when Clary turned her head and their eyes met. He could see the sadness in her eyes

“J-jace?” she said and he could tell there was hope in her voice. Hope he couldn´t give her.

“I was just… getting a patch” he said as he cursed himself for such a lame exuse. He saw all the hope die out in her eyes

“Oh..” she said and he walked in to the first aid box. He could still hear Clary and Magnus talking

“Clary… I need to do a spell on you. We need to know why you aren´t healed” He said

“No”

“Come on Clary” Magnus said and Jace decided it was best to leave. One more look at Clary and their eyes met again and he walked down towards the door again

“No”

“Why not?” Magnus demanded and Jace closed the door and rested his head at it. he could still hear her response. It echoed through Jace´s brain.

“Because I don´t want to be saved”