Change of Perspective (Jemily)

Chapter 10

Emily's POV

The next morning I woke up alone in the guest bedroom. Sighing I rolled over onto my back so that I was looking at the ceiling and had my hands connected and laying on my stomach

I know she is upset I get it. But in no way was she thinking clearly. Her sister was three when she died and that has impacted JJ a lot. And coincidentally the girl who found Mara has the same names as JJs sister.

She wants to bring a four year old home, our home is not fit for a child. We have nothing for kids here. Our house is always clean. With a child that is not going to be the case.

And with Mara she is going to require extra care. She has been through a lot in the past few weeks and everything that has happened before hand

She needs to be comforted all the time and we work. And she flinches every time I get near her. I really don't think JJ thought this through or even thought about the long run at all. Like who would sit with Mara when we were on a case. JJ won't stay home forever she loves being in the field too much. And then the dangers of us having kids. It's always leverage against us. And if that falls into the wrong hands it's game over.

Then the possibility of us getting hurt. I have gotten shot before, JJ has landed in the hospital after a fight with the unsub, she won of course but was still hurt pretty badly. And think how much that is going to scare a four year old.

And the worse part about it is she didn't even want to have an open conversation about it. She went ahead and called Garcia like she was the one she is married too. Then expects me to be on board with no notice at all. And I'm the bad guy

Now we're stuck in the house for a few days, I just have to try and stay alive now.

I took a shower last night so I wasn't too worried about getting one now.

It was 10am, probably the longest I have slept in. I'm usually a morning person while JJ is not.

I got up and headed out to the kitchen to make breakfast and Sergio was laying on the back of the couch

"Hey buddy" I smile and quickly pet him before walking to the kitchen,

I took some egged out of the fridge along with some sausage links,

Putting them on the stove and starting the coffee pot,

Once the food, and my coffee was down I poured a mug then went to see if JJ was awake

I pushed open the door slightly and she was laying on her side with her phone in her hand,

"Good morning" I smile and she doesn't look at me

"Morning" she replies without moving

"I made breakfast, you want any?" I ask

"No, I'm tired so I'm probably going to take a nap" she says

"Jayje you just slept all night , you need to eat" I tell her and she rolls over to face me

"No emily I didn't , for the last 3 years I have fallen asleep next to you. Or at least your pillow" she frowns and I put my coffee on the night stand and and got into bed and pulled her close to me

"I'm still mad at you" she says and I chuckle and press a kiss against the back of her neck

"I know, and I'm sorry. And we will talk about why later. But for now just sleep" I say and hold her close to me,

JJs POV

I woke up and my head was on Emily's chest and she had her phone in her hand

"Hi" I say and she looks down at me

"Hi" She smiles

"Want breakfast? I mean we have to heat it up now" she says and I nod

"Yea" I say and get up, it was just after 1 in the evening now,

We heated up the breakfast she had made earlier and sat around the table,

I was still upset with her, and I have a right to be. It's not even all about Mara, it's about her always bringing up Maya,

She thinks I get over attached all the time because of her. Maya was my little sister. I was 15 when she died at only 3.

And. Every. Single. Time. We get a case with any children she brings it up.

We finished eating and kind of just sat in silence

"You still mad?" She ask

"Yes" I tell her

"Would you like to talk about it now?" She ask

"I don't like how you bring up Maya with every case" I tell her honestly

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize" she says and I sigh

"I know and that's why I'm telling you. And as for Mara. I'm upset you didn't even hear what I had to say about it" I tell her

"I just don't think you were thinking rationally" I explain

"But I was. I thought everything through. We could have gone shopping for everything she needed. I would have taken time off of work to get her settled. In the future we would have gotten her a child therapist, schools eventually. Emily I thought about this. I did" I tell her

"And now who knows what she has to be going through again" I say softly

"I- I'm sorry Jennifer. I really don't think we're ready. I don't think I'm ready. Im not fit to be a mother. Mine was never there. Im not good at the coddling thing" she expresses

"You wouldn't be alone Em, I didn't have the best home life. But I know that we would be wonderful mother's. You sell yourself short all the time. And now it's too late" I sigh

"You're such a better person than I am. She'll be okay Jayje, she will find a family and she will be happy" she tells me and I sigh

"I guess so. I still miss her. She was so sad" I frown

"I know. But it will get better." She tells me and I nod  and she gets up from her seat and hugs me

"I love you Jayje, and I'm sorry this didn't go the way you wanted" she says and kisses my forehead

"I love you"

Till next time❤️