𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑯𝒊𝒔 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆 || 𝐁𝐓𝐒 ✓

3 𝑾𝒉𝒚 𝒅𝒊𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖?

꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂
𝑇𝒉𝑎𝑡 𝑠𝒉𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑏𝑒 𝑚𝑒
𝑏𝑦 𝐽𝑢𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑛 𝐵𝑖𝑒𝑏𝑒𝑟
꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂

It was almost two years since I left my hometown, my heart ached less than before but it did afterall.

I didn't have Jin in my mind whole day but once or twice in day I always remembered him.

Maybe I was healing.

"It's his birthday today." I whispered as a sad smile crept on my face.

Did he miss me?
Because I did.

Did he remember me?
Because I did

Did I ever cross his mind?
Because he always did mine.

I always wandered why he didn't feel the same as I did towards him.

𝑻𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒃𝒆 𝒎𝒆,
𝒉𝒐𝒍𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒅
𝑻𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒃𝒆 𝒎𝒆,
𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒍𝒂𝒖𝒈𝒉
𝑻𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒃𝒆 𝒎𝒆,
𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒐 𝒔𝒂𝒅.

I always tried to make him laugh, make him happy but maybe that wasn't enough.

I tried to be a scholar like Sofia but maybe that wasn't enough.

I tired to be girl who he might love but maybe that wasn't enough too.

I was just never enough, was I?

Sofia was special, she made him blush and smile without doing anything. Her one gaze at him and Jin would melt.

No matter what I did, I couldn't ever be her.

She was irreplaceable.

But still I wanted to ask him what was so different about her that made him love her?

𝑻𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒃𝒆 𝒎𝒆,
𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒌𝒊𝒔𝒔
𝑻𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒃𝒆 𝒎𝒆,
𝒃𝒖𝒚𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒈𝒊𝒇𝒕𝒔

𝑻𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒐 𝒘𝒓𝒐𝒏𝒈
𝑰 𝒄𝒂𝒏'𝒕 𝒈𝒐 𝒐𝒏
𝑻𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒃𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒆𝒗𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕
𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒃𝒆 𝒎𝒆

Jin was comfortable with me, friendly with me, he used to crack jokes but maybe it wasn't love, it was just him being him.

I bought his favourite chocolate as I did every year on his birthday. I missed him more on this day.

I unwrapped my chocolate and ate sliently with a few tears welled up in my eyes.

"Happy birthday, Jin. I hope you are happy wherever you are."

Sometimes I wonder, what if I had proposed him, would he have accept my love and love me?

But again what if he never saw me as with that perspective?

I did everything I could to win his heart, lame excuses to talk with him, cracking idiotic jokes to see him laugh.

I sat beside Jin's bench but funny how his gaze went to the third row, where Sofia sat. He watched her but she never knew. He was an extrovert but still shy to confess his feelings for her.

I never realized when it became my habit to look away every time I saw both of them together. Clenching my heart, I gave  it a false hope that they were only talking like friends, they were just friends.

The fear crept in my heart of losing you but you were never mine in the first place.

Why did you saw me as friend when I saw you more than that?

𝑰 𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅
𝑰 𝒇𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆
𝑶𝒓 𝒅𝒊𝒔𝒂𝒓𝒎
𝑰𝒕'𝒔 𝒈𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒐 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒆𝒍𝒅
𝑻𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒏 𝒊𝒏 𝒎𝒚 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕