Hiraeth

You're My Everything

The day I first saw you

Was the first day I have ever felt so curious about someone.

I wanted to know why you sat in solitude,

despite being around so many who wished to be your friend.

I wanted to know why you barely spoke,

when every word you said shined.

I wanted to know why that lovely smile of yours was never noticed,

why it faded when you were alone,

when it radiated brighter than any other.

I wanted to know why you,

the most important thing to me

could ever hate yourself as much as you did.

I never hated anything about you.

Nothing but your mind.

I hated how it told you that you're invalid,

how it scared you

and made you unable to come out from the dark.

I hated how it made that darkness seem like freedom

and how it forced you to welcome it.

I never understood

why you hated everything good

but not your enemy.

There was nothing to hate,

yet you made up reasons to despise yourself.

You disliked your hair,

how it looked when falling over your shoulders

when it made you seem elegant, almost prettier than before.

You loathed your grin

when it made you all the more enchanting.

You were disgusted by your body

when it was perfectly sculpted

just for you.

There was nothing wrong with you but your head,

filled with lies and revulsion towards the very thing

that made you beautiful.

You mean everything to me.

You are my happiness.

You are the reason I smile.

You are the reason I never fall from this cliff I call life.

But

you are also the reason I cry.

When you say such things about yourself

that make me hate the fact that I can't tell you otherwise

because you wouldn't believe it

or make an effort to.

You are the reason I am hurt.

Because I know you don't feel the same.

You don't see me

how I see you.

You don't look at my grin

and think,

that it's the most stunning thing

you've ever encountered.

You don't hear my voice

and call it angelic.

You don't love me.

Like I love you.

And that is what makes me cry as much as you make me smile.

I should really stop reading tragic romances