Reason to Stay Alive

13. Options in Her Life

Whole flight to head quarter was completely distressing. Natasha was occasionally glaring at him in utter annoyance. She couldn't believe that Steve thought she was in danger, did he think she was that weak ? That she couldn't handle herself ? No way, she plays the danger game to others, not the  other way around. She was the Black Widow.

While Steve was looking ahead absentmindly, thinking what just happened there. Okay, he admits, he cared for her, as a teammate , more likely as his partner, but she couldn't understand this. He thought someone taking advantage of her, maybe she was in danger, but he was wrong.  She was very brave and can handle herself very well. But still he was worried about her, more than it looks like. But the way she reacted to his caring action, he couldn't help but felt slightly disappointed.

The jet landed on the head quarter  roof top and all of them came out and Natasha and Steve headed straight towards Fury's chamber.

Before knocking on the door , both looked at each other and sighed while Steve knocked. 'Come in ' , an angry voice boomed behind the door.

Both entered inside , Hill was saying something to Fury, but he stopped her and looked at Steve and Natasha glaring. " How is this even possible?! I told you it's very important for us to get to the real suspect." He looked directly to Natasha.

Steve started," Sir it's.....".

    Fury cut him off ," Save it for later, Captain. So Agent Romanoff, how's this distraction possible ? it never happened before. I had full faith on you , but this time you failed it. "

Natasha felt very disappointed, because clearly it was nothing her fault, but she can't blame Steve either. Because he was trying to tell him everything but he didn't let him start.  Above all he was her partner. And she admits it .

Fury waved to them ," You both dismissed."

Steve looked at Natasha who was looking  disappointed but she masked it and started walking out.," May I start now sir?"

She glanced back towards Steve, who was looking dead serious at Fury, but she didn't stop , walked out of his cabin.

He gave Fury a hard glare ," It wasn't her fault. ". Fury seems to say something but he stopped him ," Let me finish. It wasn't her fault at all. It was me, I uncovered myself thinking something went wrong, that's how the  guards noticed me and the mission got compromised. I'm taking the responsibility of this failed mission. I can assure you, me and my team will complete the mission very soon. "

He paused for some seconds," I know it's not my place to ask , but how could you talk to her like that ?As far as I came to know about SHIELD, she is the best agent you got , she completes her job anyhow, whatever you order, and still you treat her  like that?!"

This accusations seems effective on Fury and he looked away in guilt.

So Steve continued," Exactly, that's why you should have let me tell you all this at the first place. Besides, there is no way  on every mission we'll get success, some times we get failed too. Failure is also a part of human life . And we are humans. Natasha is a human too. Don't treat her like she is a robot , full of perfection. " He walked out without glancing back looking for her.

Natasha sat inside the common room angrily.  She knew , this mission was very important, but still, Fury should have  let Steve explain at the first place. It was all his fault. Because of him this mission got compromised, FAILED. She was angry at him, very angry.

Steve too entered inside the common room and found she was sitting alone there. He sat across her by little more distance. " I'm sorry, because of me you had to listen all this from Fury. "

She glared at him raising her eyebrows," Yeah, because of you."

 He needed to clear things between them.  So he argued," Look I'm sorry for that , but you should have told me earlier about your plan. We already made our plan inside the jet and that wasn't included then."

She glared at him, looking straight,"  I always do whatever the mission needs , and I don't need to inform everyone about that ."

He also argued," So how do we supposed to know about your plan?"

"Everyone knows ", she looked away angrily.

    "But I didn't, that's why I got worried, thinking something wrong happened to you . You told me yourself not to change my moral , that's what I'm doing. That's what I did. If anyone seems like needs help, I'll do , whether the person likes it or not. So tell me why did you do that ?" , he rotted back.

She smirked bitterly," What? seducing that guy? Well , I don't owe you any explanation Rogers, so fuckoff."

  As badly as he wanted to remind her 'language ', he stopped himself hearing, a more important word 'owe ??'.  " I would never ask any explanation from you , but just because I made myself responsible for the failed mission in front of Fury and assured him to complete the mission anyhow on second attempt, I want to know the reason, because I think we should have tried something else ."

His voice was serious but calm too, so she decided to answer it properly and finish the argument."I needed to go close to him , so that I could get a grip on him , put in gunpoint and make him spill all the information. I had to do that , there was no other way. "

Steve understood , what people says about her was partly true. She would do anything to complete her mission, that's how much she dedicated to her work. She was made to do this , the seductrees , assassin, Black Widow.

But people doesn't know that she also wanted to make her own choice , but no one let her. She wants to think about her other options in life, but they didn't let her, they hurriedly pushed her to become the bad reputed Black Widow.

He understood the helplessness in her tone when she said ' had to ' and ' no other way ' . His expression softened and his voice too ," Accept it or not, there are always many ways, so many ways to solve a problem. It's up to us , which way we should prefer."

He gave her a reassuring look and walked out of the room , leaving Natasha in the thunder of her own thoughts. She kept looking at his retreating figure until the door closed behind him.

At first she couldn't understand what he meant . But when she did , she looked down and sighed.  He just indicated her something. Yes , he hinted her .....to become .....something else. He gave her a hint to change herself. And for the first time she considered someone else's thought.

   Then she realised that, when she found her target in that warehouse room, he was alone there. Instead of seducing him, she could have take him in gunpoint at the first place . But she did what she known for.

Maybe now was the time for her to do something else. There was no other option in her past , but now there are many options available in her present. And it's up to her , which one she would prefer. And she preferred, she choose, the good one . Might not be the best , but the better one than before.

" You are damn right, Rogers ", She chuckled mentally and walked out of the room to head towards her own apartment.

But she didn't realise one thing.

Since Steve's reappearance, something changed in her life. First respected his emotional values , by  bringing his old compass. Then admiring him as a leader. Even though she was annoyed , but still agreed to train him , or in her words , to babysit him to adjust in this new world.

And most importantly, she found him slightly, just slightly, physically attractive,  when they would be sparring for hours. Now she was agreeing his thoughts to apply in her own life.

She was changing, slowly, but still she was changing. But it's hard for her to realise and very hard to admit.

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Something is changing you see??

   ....

💗ROMANOGERS💗