Reason to Stay Alive

72. After the Dust Clears

Steve and Natasha stayed at Clint's house for two days. Doing absolutely nothing. Crying their heart out for their family. Along with James, there were Bucky, Sam, Wanda, Clint and his whole family, Fury, Maria, T'Chala, Shuri, all were vanished. And God knows what happened to Tony and the Queens kid.

It was a pain which was beyond bearable. Natasha had always been a hard shell. But losing her miraculous son had completely broken her. She couldn't open her eyes for a minute without filling tears in them. And it was harder as she saw her husband reserved himself. It's not like he was shutting her out, he hugs her when she needed him, he brings her water as she refused to have food. And it began to scare her, he had blocked his emotions.

That night they were cuddling each other on the couch as falling asleep was impossible for them. She caressed his hair ," You're not just the great and brave Captain America, Steve. You were a loving and caring father for our son. I know you're hurting inside. You don't wanna give away your emotions. But keeping pressed that inside will blast you uncontrollably. You won't be able to hold yourself. Among both of us, You're the softy one. But now you've made yourself an indestructible rock."

She rubbed his back soothinghly and placed a soft kiss on his neck," Let everything out Steve. No one will judge you for  it. " His clenched jaw relaxed as she felt wetness on her shoulder. His arms tightened around her as quite sobs escaped from his lips. He cried so hard like there was no end and soon she joined him in the grief of their son. And after three days of sleepless nights, they got asleep for the first time.

Next morning they got a message from Bruce ," We found a device of Fury. Maybe there's a chance we can do something about it. "

They were not sure what it was, but if there was a slightest possibility to undo the grave void in this world, they would try their best. Instantly they got ready and flew towards New York, Avengers Facility.

When they arrived Rohdey looked at the couple, silently for answer. Natasha just shook her head trying hard not to burst in tears. Rohdey closed his eyes shighing deeply. He got his answer. They lost their baby.

Then Bruce showed them the transmitter of Nick Fury, he sent some kinda message to someone. But it was still yet to decode. More than two weeks passed like that. The Rogers couple had an apartment at outside of the city as it was a quieter place.

Then after almost three weeks of the blip, Carol Danvers, to whom Fury had messaged, rescued Tony out of the space where their spaceship was disfunctioned. Later that night they were discussing about the blip when Tony chuckled sarcastically ," You haven't changed even a little, have you ?", he looked at Steve.

He stood up from his seat," You know,  Rogers, maybe I was right from the very beginning. You're just a laboratory experiment. Nothing more but to show yourself around. You have never been with the people who care about on their worst time. "

He shook his head when Pepper tried to stop him," You are nothing but a fake optimistic man, full of selfishness. I told you years back , let's make a strong armour around the world , but you threw your rules on my face, saying ' if we lose we'll lose together '. Congrats Captain. You were right. We lost. No. I lost. "

He walked towards Steve with a hateful look ," You know why I called you a selfish ?, because you runs away when someone dear to you needs you with them. You ran away back in forties , when your friends and the people of our country needed you. You ran away from Natasha safely with your dear friend. And till now , You were running when the monstrous alien attacked the whole universe. " In the rage of losing Peter, whom he considered as just like his son, he didn't realise the hurt he was causing to Steve. " And you know why you never realised it ?, because you didn't lose anyone close to you. Someone you love and care. "

Still hurting him with his words, Tony removed his arc-reactor and handed it to him ," When you'll find some solution, take this , and do whatever you want. " with that he collapsed on the ground.

But Steve caught him and brought him to the medical room with Rohdey. Bruce gave him the necessary treatment. Pepper stayed with him with as others left them alone. Rohdey looked at Steve with an apologetic face ," Captain, he didn't mean..",

He cut him off shaking his head," Its okay. Forget it."  He walked towards the balcony and stood beside Natasha.

Natasha was angry, it would be an understatement. She was erupting the rage and hate towards Tony she never thought she would. If he would not have fainted there, she swore, the Avengers would have seen the real black widow there. How dare he call Steve a selfish man?, how dare he called him a coward ?. And above all, how could he say that Steve didn't lose someone he loves ?.

They lost their baby boy. That matters the most for him. She understood. That's why he didn't allow his tears. The world thinks of him as a human-robot. He was just an experiment.

But he was nothing at all like that. Her husband had a heart of gold. It never took a second thought to figure this out for her. If it would have anyone else than Tony , he would have been dead by now. She looked at her side to find Steve. His shoulder slumped in defeat. She could clearly see the bleeding in his heart through his eyes. His eyes were an open book.

Steve turned towards her and hugged her resting his chin on her hair. " Don't plan to kill him. "

She inhaled his scent wrapping her short hands around his torso," I was holding back myself. Why didn't you stop him?"

Standing in the same position he Let out a sad chuckle," Maybe I deserved it. I had hurt him by not telling him about his father, now it's his turn to hurt me as a father. I hope we're even now. "

A faint footsteps broke their moment. They pulled apart and turned to see Pepper was there. " Steve , I'm really sorry on his behalf. "

Steve shook his head shighing ," Pepper you...",

She cut him off," I know he hurt you. So don't pretend like nothing happened. Maybe he's changing inside but I'm not sure if I can change his outer attitude. They say sometimes words hurts more than any dagger. I'm sure whatever he said , It did hurt you more than the shit of the civil war. Peter bliped away , that's why he's acting like this. "

Natasha shighed ," Pepper , You don't need to apologise . I mean it. Really. But whatever Tony said, I will never forget those words. "

Steve knew how much she's hurt. But he had to make everything normal. " Nat , he was...",

She looked at him and that made his mouth shut. Her eyes were threatening to spill tears ," It doesn't matter. He's not the only one who lost someone close. " Saying she stormed out from there closing the balcony door behind her.

Pepper looked at him, he shook his head saying ," Don't worry, I'll talk to her. We're leaving and...yeah take care of him. " Pepper nodded with a smile as Steve walked away. She stood there thinking , What Steve was saying to Natasha when she stood behind them without them knowing. She wasn't  eavesdropping. She was just happen to be there. It's Tony's turn to hurt him...as a father ?!