You Had My Heart [DISCONTINUED]

We're all here for you

It was around 10PM when the boys suggested that we go to a bar.

»Come on, Luna it will be fun!« Joonas tried to persuade me. But I just shook my head, I was still confused about Joel's attitude towards me earlier.

»Come on, please?« Aleksi asked me with puppy eyes.

»Okay, Okay i'll come then.« I say and grab my purse. We all made our way out of Joel's apartment and found ourselves at the boys favourite bar around 5 minutes later. We all sat in a booth in the corner of the room.

»Me and Porko will get drinks we'll be back soon« Niko says and him and Joonas disappear.

I was sat on one end of the booth with Joel next to me and a space next to him for Joonas. Olli sat in front of me with Tommi next to him and there was a space next to Tommi for Niko. Aleksi was sat on a chair at the end of the booth as there weren't enough seats for all of us to fit. I spoke to Olli and just got to know him generally since I hadn't really gotten to know him yet. He had a great sense of humour and was also very caring. Joel, Tommi and Aleksi were talking among themselves while me and Olli spoke to each other. I couldn't bare to have a conversation with Joel but I knew it had to happen at some point because after all I was staying at his apartment.

Soon Niko and Joonas came back with 2 trays full of beers and vodka shots. How much do these guys drink? I really needed some alcohol in my system so without even thanking the boys, I grabbed a shot and threw my head back while the burning liquid ran down my throat.

»Someone's eager« Joel says before he starts to laugh. Then Joel copies my actions and takes a shot for himself.

We had been there for about an hour now and we were quite tipsy, but still sober enough to understand what was happening. We were all laughing at things that weren't even funny and we were talking about the most weirdest and confusing things. All was going great until I felt a hand on my thigh. I looked down and saw that it was Joel's. I was calm as his touches felt good, but also startled because the last time someone put their hand on my thigh, it was my abusive ex, Max. I started shaking and my breathing was getting heavier. I was having flashbacks. I excused myself from the boys and headed to the bathrooms, But I knew that Aleksi had realised that something was wrong by my shaking.

I felt a hand grab my wrist and turn me around. Of course it was Aleksi. He looked me dead in the eyes. »What's wrong? What's bothering you? You're shaking, Luna«

I was so overwhelmed by everything that I just broke down right there and then. I hugged Aleksi tight and buried my face in the crook of his neck. I was sobbing, so much that I was struggling to breathe. Aleksi noticed the beginning of one of my panic attacks and picked me up. His hands round my back my hands round his neck and my legs crossed over his waist. The next thing I know, Aleksi was sat in my seat in the booth and I was sat on his lap, my face still in his neck.

»It's okay, Luna just breathe ok?« Aleksi was rubbing my back slowly trying to calm me down. »Get her some water« He said to the boys still hugging me tightly.

Niko handed Aleksi a glass of water and tapped my back signalising me to sit up. I took the glass of water off Aleksi and drank some before twisting my body to put the water on the table. I was still crying and shaking but my breathing had calmed down.

»Can you tell me what's wrong?« Aleksi asked softly. I looked around a bit and saw that everyone had come closer to us. They all had a worried look on their faces. However, Joel had an extremely worried face on him. He was sat right next to Aleksi and seemed to really care for me. I couldn't tell him that he triggered my panic attack, but I had to.

»I had flashbacks« I said with a really shaky and quiet voice.

»Back to what? speak to me, Luna. We're all here for you.« Aleksi replied. He grabbed my hands that were resting on his chest and intertwined our fingers.

»Of Max« I replied and started crying again. Aleksi held me close and hugged me tightly. I could feel 5 pairs of eyes on us as they have no idea who Max is but I decided I would tell them tomorrow at the studio.

»It's okay, let's get you home so you can rest« And with that said, we were off Aleksi still carrying me while I was still crying. We all got back in the car and Aleksi sat next to me with a worried Joel next to him. Niko and Joonas sat behind us and Tommi and Olli sat in front. We quickly arrived at Joel and Joonas' apartment complex and we got out the car.

»I'm sorry for ruining your night guys, I promise i'll explain everything tomorrow.« Niko, Olli and Tommi all nodded understandingly and drove off. Aleksi came with me and Joel to his apartment.

»Take good care of her« Aleksi said to Joel whilst hugging me. Aleksi kissed my forehead and left to go to Joonas' apartment. Joel shut the door to his apartment.

»I'm sorry« I begin and start crying again. Joel quickly rushes to me and pulls me in close and hugs me tightly. I didn't want him to see me like this. Especially when I like him.

»Did I cause this?« He asks while pulling away so that we are staring at each other. I didn't know what to say so I just nodded with a sad look on my face. He hugged me again. »I'm so sorry«

»It's okay, you weren't to know« I said. Joel picked me up and sat on his sofa with me on his lap.

»So...« I started. I was staring into his beautiful blue eyes that were filled with worry. »Max is my ex. He was abusive towards me in all ways you can imagine and so when you put your hand on my thigh it gave me flashbacks because the last time I was touched like that, it was by him.« I said. It felt good to tell someone else about my past other than Aleksi because I never really open up. Joel had a sorry look on his face as he nodded to what I was saying. A tear rolled down his face. I could tell that he felt so bad.

»I never meant to hurt you« He said. »I know it's early days but when I first saw you, I changed inside. I don't know what it is but I really like you, Luna. So it really hurts to see you so upset because of something I did.« He said and started to cry. I was shocked at what he just said. I couldn't believe it. He likes me? I cupped his face and brushed his tears away with my thumb.

»It's not your fault.« I start. »I didn't warn anyone about my triggers so you weren't to know.« We stared at each other for some time inching closer and closer. We were both cupping each others faces until I felt his lips on mine. It was a short and sweet kiss and when it ended, we put our foreheads together and we both smiled.

»I like you too« I said and Joel's face lit up.

A/N:
i'm sorry this took me so long to write but they finally kissed. please give me ideas i'm running out.