This is a story about the boy who my universe revolves around.
The part about my universe revolving around him is completely coincidental- I didn't choose that, and he didn't actually intend to have this effect on me. It just happened when he start...
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I sit outside the drama room, waiting for my sister. I assumed that she'd have to stay after school to finish choreographing Helpless.
I'm trying to study. It's not really working.
I know Spica likes Exander. Anyone with eyes can figure that much out. Getting cast as Exander's character's wife was truly a stroke of luck for her. I just hope she doesn't get her hopes too high, and then have them crushed when the show ends. It's hard to tell if he likes her as well- his vocabulary isn't exactly common among teenagers, and that makes it difficult to decide if he's flirting with her or not.
But I know my sister is happy. And right now, that's enough.
"ENSEMBLE AND JEFFERSON?! ENSEMBLE?! FOR THE FIRST HALF OF THE SHOW?!" Cael yells, though I have no idea how he didn't figure it out earlier. With Exander having stolen the lead role about ten seconds into his audition, me taking Burr, and Thaniel being a cinch for Washington, it makes sense that Cael would be the next biggest male character. And playing Jefferson includes a lot of rapping. Which is Cael's specialty.
"Well, this is fun," Thaniel mutters. Spica mutters something to Celestia, probably asking again if they can leave now, and then ducks around our group and starts down the hallway. I look over my shoulder to watch her, just to make sure she's not too shaken by Cael's outburst.
She stops. I frown, immediately concerned, until I see her awed expression and follow her gaze.
Exander is standing halfway down the hallway, smiling. His eyes are fixed on Cael, though for just a moment I almost believed he might have been wearing that almost painfully pure smile for me. His expression shifts, just minutely, to the slightest smirk. My heart throbs at the just barely smug look in his sharp, clever gaze, and I can't look away.
And then reality hits me, like a wall.
I can't be thinking about Exander like this. I have a boyfriend, this could tear apart our relationship. Even if Lloyd sees me just looking at Exander the way I'm sure I was a minute ago, he'd be devastated. And I care for him. I can't do this to him, not after everything we've gone through, everything we've built together.
Not to mention- if anyone saw me looking at Exander in any way that could suggest feelings, or even just if I look at him too much, they could figure it out. They could know that I'm gay, they could out me to the entire school and ruin my social life. Ruin the carefully crafted facade that I've created and cultivated for as long as I've known my sexuality. My parents could find out, and who knows what they'd do, and-
Spica's still looking at him, looking like she's falling a little more in love with him with each passing second. Celestia sidles up to her, catches sight of her expression, looks at Exander, smirks, whispers something to Spica, then pulls her away. I watch, feeling my heart fall as she goes, turning back to catch one last glimpse at Exander, who's now talking to Thaniel.
