Suicide boy #2

Part 3

I woke up to knocking on my door. I looked through the peephole and it was hooni. He looked like had been crying. I opened the door "Hey Hooni what's up?" He started to fiddle with his fingers. "C-can I come in please" I nodded and gestured for him to come in. He sat on my mattress. "Is there something wrong Hooni?" He put his face into his hands and started to cry. I stood there awkwardly. I dont do well with other people crying. I bent down to get to his level. "Hooni is there something wrong?" He looked up and wiped his tears. "I-i-i- dont know. I just feel like dying but I cant bring myself to do it" He was crying about not being able to kill himself. Damn. I've been there. I couldnt bring myself to try commit suicide for years then 2 years ago i finally did. Sadly it failed. "Hey Hooni look at me. Its going to be okay. You'll be able to get past this I believe in you" I couldn't even believe in myself so why am i telling Hooni that I can believe in him. He didn't stop crying though. "I-i just d-dont know w-what to do anymore" To be completely honest same. "Me either but hey I guess we can help each other out" He smiled but continued crying. "Do you want a hug?" He nodded. I wrapped my arms around his torso. He felt warm against my body. I felt okay in that moment. I held him in my arms for a couple minutes when I pulled away. "Hooni you can do this" He had stopped crying his eyes were puffy and red. He hugged my chest. I hugged hum back. "Hey y/n?" "hm?" "Thank you" He hugged me a bit tighter.

He ended up staying the night. In the morning he went back to his apartment. He isnt a burden to me just I feel responsible if he doesnt anything that could kill him again. I looked at the pencil sharpener. Fuck it. I grabbed it and started to take out the blade. I cut my finger while doing so. Amazing. I got it out and looked at my left wrist. The scars were faded. I took the blade and drew it across my wrist. Blood dripped down. I felt relieved. I wiped up the blood and went out. I walked past and alley way when a man started talking to me. "Whats a pretty boy like you walking alone?" Was he trying to hit on me? I stopped and shrugged. The man got up and went into the light. It was a old dude probably in his 50s . "What do you need?" I asked and put my hands in my pocket. "Your number" I shook my head. "I need a reason to give it to you" He looked into my eyes I felt uncomfortable. "Why should I need a reason?" He was very close to me. He reached out and tried to grab me. I started to walk away quickly. I escaped the creepy man and saw a dude who seemed high as fuck. The man was pretty good looking and looked around my age "Want some" He handed me a tin container even though i havent given an answer . "Uh sure?" Did he just give me weed? Fine by me. Ive smoked weed in middle school once and liked it a bit. Then the person got expelled and moved so no more weed for me. "If you like it then come back here." I opened the container. It was full I just needed a lighter. "Can i like get your number?" I looked at the dude. "Uh sure? Just gimme your phone i guess" I typed my phone number in and walked into a gas station to buy a lighter. I bought it and walked back home. I stayed outside so I didnt stink up my apartment. I was at the back of the building. I opened the tin container. I took out the light and lit it. I inhaled. My mind felt blank. I wasnt worried about anything. 

After i was done I walked back into my apartment and laid on my bed. I stared at the wall. My mind was still blank. I should do it more often to escape. I heard knocking on my door. I got up and opened the door. Soorim was standing at the door. "Yo y/n do yo- wait are you high?" I giggled. "Yeah?" Soorim laughed too and gestured for me to follow him. I put on my shoes and walked with him. "Where are we heading?" Soorim didnt answer and only said "You'll see" I kept following him and eventually we got to an arcade. I stopped. "Woah no sorry I cant do that" Soorim turned to me. "Why?" I started to fidget. "Uh I sorta dont do crowded places. I can barelt handle school" Soorim chuckled a bit. "Well okay them how about we just go to your place" Surprised that he understood. We got to my place and walked it. "Ya know i've never smoked before" I was 99% that this dude has smoked weed before. "Do you wanna?" Soorim nodded. I got the stuff out and lighted one. I did inhaled then handed it to him. "Thought you smoked?" Soorim shook his head "Nope" I giggled. "I have before in like middle school... then the person got caught before i could smoke anymore." Soorim laughed too. Then he brought out two cand a beer.

It was around 1 am when Soorim went back home. I drew a bath. My head was hurting like a bitch. The ibuprofen and tylenol never worked on me as a kid so i stopped taking them. I sat in the bath for and hour. I got out and laid on my bed completely defeated. I feel like shit. I wanna die to be completely honest. I have school tomorrow. I might just skip. I hate it here. I rubbed my head. I closed my eyes and focused on trying to sleep. I got a text from someone. Did ya like it? It was the person that gave me a weed i think. I responded with "yeah" obviously. The dudes name  was American. Which makes sense. It was Mark. He was probably from America. We talked for about an hour just getting to know each other. After we were done talking I went to go get a animal or something. I just want something furry to hold like a rat or a ferret. I walked into the the store and saw two rats. They looked cute one was black and one was brown and white. I had enough money for everything I needed so i bought them. "Mom would be so made at me" I whispered to myself as i walked into my room. I set up there cage and put them in. The black one nibbled my finger it didnt hurt. "Now i just need some names" I sat on my bed for 10 minutes thinking of names. I decided to name the brown one 'Bo' and the black one 'Lynx' There both males at least thats what the store clerk told me. I put water and food in their cage. Then i looked up how to care for them properly.