Eliot Strange and the Prince of the Apocalypse

17) Confirmation of a Celebrity Sighting

When we arrive at East Central High School, it is almost a deja vu day all over again, and Steven says so. "It is deja vu all over again."

"Funny," I say.

"I am talking about the smell. It's almost worse than yesterday." He pulls his shirt up over his face.

We are near the locked room where I saw the horribly gone wrong picnic of the O'Malley family the day before. "Phew, it is bad, must be because it is so stuffy in here."

We hurry on past the smell and end up right back at the locked door leading up the stairs to the history hall. It is locked again even though we broke the lock yesterday. 

Steven states the obvious, "Locked back."

"Yes, your prince must be ok because he locked the door back."

"I didn't bring the cutters this time."

I look in my bag. Nothing. I whisper, "I got nothing with me either. I must have dropped the hammer, but that's ok because maybe we need to be quiet this time. Don't announce ourselves. Just in case anybody else is around."

"We'll have to go in the other end, through the cafeteria."

Steven is right, but neither one of us want to go that way. I think of another idea: "Let's try the gym. Go in through the locker room. If we can get in, we can go through the gym, then the lobby, and come in on the other end of this hall."

"Great plan," says my partner in crime.

We smash the outside window to the coach's office and then open the door inside the office to the boy's locker room. We start to head into the gym, but then we hear water running. I put my finger to my lips and point back towards the locker room.

Steven and I creep into the locker room like two ninjas in fuzzy slippers. We peer around the door and there he is - the man from the day before. 'OL Blue Eyes himself. He does not see us or hear us, and it is probably because he is washing his long, dark curly hair and singing, yes singing, in the shower. He has his back to us, and I am looking at the backside of an entirely naked man in broad daylight for the first time in my life. Well, to be honest, it's not the first time. I have seen naked pictures of men, and there had been some awkward groping under darkness with Patrick, but I have never seen a completely naked man in person or up this close. And certainly not one all soapy.

Time stands still, and I am so focused that I see a single drop of water go from the back of mystery man's neck, over his shoulder blade, down his upper back, and ever so slowly over his ribs. The drop of water pauses above his butt and then decides to follow the curve downward and proceed down his inner thigh where I lose sight of it. 

It is suddenly so hot and stuffy in here that I can't get my breath. 

Steven must feel the same way because he whispers the obvious, "Holy Mother of God. He is naked."

I put my fingers to my lips again to shush Steven, when out of the corner of my eye I see movement. Blue eyes is turning around. Laser like focus returns to me again, and I am not showing good manners because I am disobeying a rule my mother taught me - no staring. It is rude.

Blue Eyes must think my staring is rude too because when he turns, he has a rifle in his hand that I do not immediately notice. I do notice something else, and it is not what you think, though I do notice that too. I see a scar running from the top of his chest down towards his flat stomach.

My eyes trace the scar as I am looking at a naked Price Torin, and he is pointing a gun at me. I reach out for Steven with one hand as I pull my gun up with the other. Steven is gone. I can hear his footsteps running down the hall. Steven is following our rule - run when there is danger. I have trained him well.

"You just keep pointing that gun at me," the prince says.

"Well, I see you pointing a gun at me too," I say, and then I realize what an incredibly stupid thing that is to say to a naked man. I add, "And you might have the drop on me." 

This is a rule of dad's - appear weak when trapped - though I do feel kind of weak-kneed. Suddenly, I am embarrassed, and I guess he notices.

"Do you mind if I put my trousers on?"

"Pants," I say as I lower my gun. "If you are going to pretend to be American, you will have to call them pants."

He looks at me and says in a British accent, "And now, you may have the drop on me."

I wish I had a clever comeback, like a Hallmark channel movie, but I got nothing. It is impossible. I am looking at my first real-live completely naked man, and not on a cell phone either. He is talking to me with a British accent. He is a prince, a real live prince. And, did I mention, he is naked.

I feel a bead of sweat rolling down my back ever so slowly just like that water drop rolled down his back. I want to run away, but I don't trust my legs.

"I have to go find my friend," I say. I back up and walk away.

As I exit the gym and start down the hall, I meet head-on with Steven who is still running and out of breath.

"What are you doing?" I ask. "Why are you coming back?"

"To rescue you." He takes a deep breath. "You know, leave no man behind. It is a rule."

"No, Steven. It is not a rule. Maybe in the movies or the army, but not now. In fact, the rule now is - Save yourself, run when there is danger, and don't look or come back."

"You know I don't like the old rules. Remember we talked about it - our new list of rules. This is rule two for good people. It is right behind rule one - which is help others. Rule two - leave no man behind."

"You're an idiot Steven, but I love you." I hug him close to me. "I just hope these new rules don't get us killed. You know the world has ended."

"Maybe it has," says my best friend on earth, "But we are starting over. The new world will be a world we want to live in. Now, where's our prince?"

"Your prince is still in the locker room, hopefully with some clothes on by now."

"Oh, I so hope you are wrong," says my wide-grinning best friend.