The Bright Ones

20 | Loving in the shadows

"And all I loved, I loved alone," Mr. Nelson looked out at the class as he leaned against the front on his desk, his ankles crossed. "Who can tell me who these words were written by?" His eyes drifted to mine with the hopes to call on me—which he could have even though I didn't raise my hand—but I silently pleaded back for him to chose someone else. I didn't want to be put on the spot again.

To my surprise, he understood my request and moved on looking. The heartbeat in my throat ceased as he called on Brodie. "Who do you think, Brodie?"

Brodie was slumped in his seat which wasn't doing him anything seeing as he was already short. "Edgar Allen Poe," Brodie mumbled.

"Excellent! Yes, indeed Poe said those very words."

I looked at Brodie who looked back and shrugged. I would never have taken him for the poetry type. But I suppose we all had our things.

At the end of class, Mr. Nelson turned to the class from the blackboard. "Now I know exams are approaching—and I don't want to stress any of you out—but I'd like to do an assignment with creative writing. Not all of you are enrolled in the course, but it will still be taken as a grade in either or both classes. The topic will be on love, which Poe showed us isn't the happiest emotion all the time. If you take creative writing you'll get more information in there, if not, you'll get more from me soon. Have a great afternoon, gentlemen."

Brodie grumbled, "I thought this was English, not phycology," as he passed me out the door with the rest of the class.

Out in the hall, Will caught up next to me, moving his reading glasses to his head of caramel hair. He nudged me with his shoulder. "Hm?" I hummed, looking over to him.

"How are you?" He questioned quietly as we swam the sea of bodies.

I shrugged. "Oh—well. . . ." I clear my throat. "I'm fine. You?"

Will smirks. "Amazing, actually." I nod and we continue walking. We've done this every day—walked together—but I'm not sure why it was making me nervous all of a sudden. No, I knew why. He's kissed me for crying out loud! And now my palms were sweaty and my eye was twitching. What the fuck was that about? "Can we talk later?" Will asks leaning in as we walk into creative writing.

I nod as I take my seat.

~•~•~•~

I set my things on my desk and flopped onto my bed. This was exhausting. How could anyone enjoy all these people's time but also love being alone? I hadn't gotten sleep after my moment with Will and then I had to deal with school with announcements for exams and a new project. What did I know about love? What did anyone know of love? Especially me.

This isn't love, I told myself. He's a distraction—he's something you've latched onto.

There's a knock at my door that causes me to groan as I start to sit up. I'm only leaning on my elbows when the door opens and Will slides in with his reading glasses on. He drops his bag by the door and closes the door.

"What are you—"

In a few short strides, he cuts me off with his lips on mine. His hands mold into the mattress, my eyes won't move, they stuck wide open. What is he doing?!

His lips move against mine and my heart says to move with him but my head says to stop. I feel his crooked smile in his kiss and my heart melts. He leans forward—his glasses slipping down his nose—and I start to lie down.

When I'm laying down with Will's silk hair tickling me, I feel my body start to betray me, become excited as the heat in my face slips down.

I want to tell him to stop, but the kiss continues. I want to scream, but the kiss continues.

And then it isn't. It's just hot breath on the hot breath. And breathing. "Bo?" Will whispers. My eyes never closed but I can't make eye contact with him either. "Bo, you're shaking—you're crying! What's wrong? What'd I do?" He lifts himself off the bed and I realize he's right. I'm shaking! I reach up to my face and swipe at my eyes that betray me too.

"I'm sorry," I answered hoarsely.

"Hey, no." He crouches in front of me. "What'd I do wrong?"

You kissed me! I want to yell. But I just sit up, bringing my knees up to hide myself. This is embarrassing enough without him seeing what he does to me.

"Why'd you do that?" I say into my knees.

I didn't think he heard me but then he answers. "Kiss you? I—I thought that's where we were." I had never heard Will so unsure of himself. "I'm sorry."

I wasn't mad—I was confused. These feelings, these reactions, it was all still new to me.

"I just—you're not disgusted by this? Any of it?"

"Us?" My heart fluttered at the way he spoke 'us' as if it had always been that way and I was a silly schoolboy for questioning it. He shakes his head. "How could I be disgusted? Are people disgusted by Picasso?"

I shake my head, whipping at my eyes again. "You can't compare this to art—masterpieces in fact."

Will fixes his crooked glasses. "Why? Are you still not beautiful too?"

I finally make eye contact. He was beautiful. "Not to them."

Will shrugs from the floor. "Who fucking cares what they think? This doesn't concern them."

"But—You say that so certainly—as if you're used to this?"

Will moves his glasses to the top of his head, folding his fluffy hair in different directions. "You're asking if I've done this before?" I guess I was. I nod and he moves to sit next to me on the bed. "I haven't, but, I came to terms with it a few years back. Girls never interested me and then I came to an all-boys academy." He laughs.

"I didn't know . . . about myself I mean."

Will's crooked smile reappears. "Well, sometimes it takes a certain person." I nod. "But I'm really sorry about the kiss. I didn't realize you were still. . . ." He gestures to both of us.

I let my legs go limp a bit so they're not so tight to my chest. "I didn't not mind it," I mumble.

Will's head snaps to me, his smile growing. "Oh yeah?"

I shrug. "Who knows? Maybe with some warning, I can enjoy it next time."

His eyes twinkle at my words. "Next time?" He breaths.

"Next time," I repeat.

______

Holy shit! I'm sorry it's been a month💀thank you for the patience and for staying with me through my sporadic publishing. I'm trying to get back into it! Get me on a schedule cause some good chapters are coming!