D.A.

Box-cutting problems and electrifying solutions

Yes... you heard right... Mary has a fan club.

I did mention multiple times that she was hella adorable, seems like I wasn't quite the only one who thought that. Before the both of us even knew it, an unofficial fan club was made. A club that somehow rivaled the official Veronica fan club.

Yeah, guess Mary accidentally became Veronica's sole competition in terms of popularity... hilarious I say.

And, predictably, they started targeting me the moment they found out I was her boyfriend.

Well... most of the time it didn't end well for them.

Not bragging or anything, but if you want to be a professional Mary mess cleaner you gotta be pretty strong. So, when it comes to fighting waves of weaklings, I can easily manage.

The problem is that they keep coming back like cockroaches. No matter how many times the bug repellent that my fist on them is, they keep somehow coming back asking for more.

Guess it was lucky that Kokatsu didn't follow me, he might've had been roped in all of this.

"Alright you persistent bugs, you guys really like getting beaten up, don't you? Alright, let's end this quick.", I first ask, still trying to see if they really were here for that shit.

"Not so fast you, unsightly fuck. Today won't end like our previous attempts. We're done playing around with you. Break up with our goddess or you're seriously going to get it.", answered the leader.

...

Look, this guy is a cockroach, so I really never bothered to learn his name. What's the point of learning the name of a punching bag anyway?

Either way, he really seems to be confident today... really makes me curious about his new gimmick so I'll just take the bait for now.

"I really don't see how you guys of all people could ever beat me so... hard to see how this will end up any different. Got an ace up your sleeve or something?", I then ask as I crack my first, ready to punch someone's face.

"Glad you asked.", he simply answered as he snapped his fingers.

As soon as they heard the signal, all the bastards around me got box cutters out of their pockets and pointed them at me.

"You know, all you need to do is break up with her and you'll be able to walk away pain-free. It'll take all my willpower to not attack you, but we can do that for our beloved Mary.", said the bastard as he took out his own box cutters and pointed it at me.

...

Well, that certainly went from 0 to 100. I'm definitely not getting away bruise-free like usual.

I... might have to remember their names after this.

Though my biggest concern was... why didn't they do this from the start? Sounds really impractical considering the many times I almost sent them to the hospital.

"No answer, huh? Pity. ALL RIGHT GUYS, ATTACK HIM FROM BEHIND!", commanded the leader.

Ugh... how cowardly. At least he screamed it like an idiot so I can at least minimize the damage.

"YES SIR! PREPARE TO DIE TOM!"

Now they're straight-up admitting to attempting murder... amateurs.

"How about... no!"

"Huh, who are you bastastARDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD"

Huh?

I quickly turned around to what the fuck just happened and find... KOKATSU!

He was just standing there... looking down at a convulsing enemy... with a shit-eating grin.

"Damn, Melissa's stun gun sure packs a punch, the guy is already knocked out. No wonder she likes that one so much.", he simply says as he admires the stun gun in his hands.

SO THAT WAS THE THING HE TOOK FROM MELISSA!

Wait a sec... WHAT THE HELL IS SHE DOING WITH A STUN GUN POWERFUL ENOUGH TO OHKO A GUY?!

Now I truly understood why he was scared of her... poor guy.

The mere thought of what she could be using it on gave me chills.

"You bastard! How dare you!", scream the guy's teammates as they tried to cut Kokatsu.

And I have to say... the following scene was one of the most hilarious things I've ever seen. Kokatsu just casually walked up to every single one of these bastards, dodged their desperate attacks, and then simply electrocuted them until they fainted.

The face the leader had once it was his turn was so damn precious, I HAD to take a photo.

Safe to say, they clearly learned their lesson.

"Why the hell are you carrying a stun gun around in school Kokatsu?", I asked, still dumbfounded by what just happened.

"It's a cruel world we live in. Never hurts to have some tools for protection.", simply answered Kokatsu as he simply put back the weapon in his pocket.

"Could have goon easier on them, couldn't you?"

"Hmph, fainting from just that was the greatest mercy they could've gotten from me. These bastards got lucky from my perspective."

And now I was scared to even think of what the guy considered as "unlucky".

"Anyway, thanks, friend. You saved me from a couple of bruises."

"As if I could let a guy as interesting as you-"

"Right back at ya."

"As I was saying, get beaten by such cowards. It's the least I could do. Now let's go, the teacher might be furious if we don't make it back fast.", he then replied with a smile as he started running back to class.

And now I was scared to think about what he considered as more than "the least he could do". Though the thought of a scolding from Mary was even more terrifying so I started running with him.

While he doesn't seem to be an alien or a spy, I can definitely see myself getting along with that guy.

Oh, and he forgot his lunch again, still an idiot I see.