Three days of you

89. Amelia

Darn it! Amelia didn't mean to say that out loud. Somehow it just happened. There was just something about this gorgeous man that made her want to bare her soul to him. It was just the way he listened and the way he appeared to consider her every word, like they were valuable. He made her feel as if she could tell him anything.   

She saw the way his eyes darted at her. It was a look that said he wanted to know more, but he wasn't going to pry. Instead, he was meticulously dicing garlic.

She sighed internally.

"Sorry," she ventured.

"For?" He replied with a raised eyebrow.

"Well...It was just a memory, I didn't mean to sound so sad."

"Li, you don't have to apologize for being sad."

"I know, but these memories, these bad memories are cropping up way too often when I'm with you."

She gave the pasta a stir and turned to face him.

"There are some things that I try to bury, but sometimes..."

She paused to take a deep breath.

"Sometimes they catch me off guard and I don't know how I'll react. I can either deflect them or face them."

"Do you want to share the memory?" he asked tentatively.

She inhaled deeply, "It's nothing too big, but at the time, I felt hurt that the person I was with didn't know me at all."

"How so?" he questioned.

"Well, I always had to remind him of the things I liked, he just won't ever get them right. Maybe he didn't think them important enough to remember, or he didn't care. Once at dinner with this parents, his mom asked me if spring was a good time for an event. He jumped right in and declared that spring was my favorite season. The whole time I sat there wondering, when did I ever gave him the impression that I liked spring best?"

Chase chuckled.

"That's probably why I felt the need just now to clarify that I liked fall best."

Chase put the knife down and shortened the distance between them.

"Come here," he said taking her hand.

He led her over to the small breakfast table and pulled out a chair. He sat down and pulled her onto his lap. His arms wrapped around her and gathered her against his chest.

"Everyone has traumatic memories. You shouldn't feel bad about them, especially not with me and I think I know you quite well. I learn new things about you all the time."

She twisted to face him and he maneuvered her so that she was straddling him.

"I don't want you to feel like my past is always hanging over our relationship."

"I don't feel that way. Do you?"

He brushed her bangs aside and allowed his fingers to gently life her chin so she was looking directly at him.

She didn't know how to truthfully answer his question. She lowered her gaze because she couldn't look him in the eye. A part of her did feel that she was letting her past affect the way she was with him. It was so frustrating, she wanted to scream.

He was good. What they had together was good. How she wished she could allow herself to enjoy it. Why did she always have to be on edge? Why couldn't she just trust faith? Why did she allow one dreadful man to ruin anything good she might have with someone who loved her?