41 | my new life

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I walk along the pavement, pulling my jacket closer to my body as the night air blows against my skin

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I walk along the pavement, pulling my jacket closer to my body as the night air blows against my skin.

While I'm passing an ice cream parlor, my legs stop. My gaze darts on a lady choosing an ice cream with a little girl, and a soft smile forms on my lips. I remember hanging out with Jasmine for the first time. I still remember her favorite flavor of ice cream and how her face lit up when she ate them.

The longing in my heart begins to stir again, and I tear my gaze away from the glass window, resuming my steps.

How is Jasmine doing right now? Isn't she in middle school already? I miss her.

I always hold myself back every time I feel the urge to find out more about Cal's new life, because it would only reopen my wounds and make it harder for me to move on. That being said, I don't google him on the internet or purposely buy any magazine that has him on the cover page.

Yet, he's still everywhere. At an ad in Times Square. On the news on TV. On the radio, while I'm listening to it on the way to work. And among the girls in my class as they talked about how excited they were to get the tickets for his tour.

I blow a sigh, looking up as I finally reach the apartment building in which Mom and I live together. It's not a fancy apartment, but we're more than grateful that we could rent it after Dad passed away, since we couldn't stay in the house anymore.

This low to middle-class apartment is the only place that the two of us can afford after Dad's business went downhill.

What was expected to be an exciting opportunity for a successful business turned into a disaster because things didn't work out well with his acquaintance.

Unfortunately, Dad had made a lot of investments with no return, and when the new company went bankrupt, all of his assets were taken from us, including our new home in New York.

My heart breaks every time I remember that, because it was the major factor that caused his diabetes to worsen. He went through a major breakdown and stress that caused a very alarming spike in his blood sugar level. Complications soon happened after that, followed by kidney failure.

My chest tightens. The pain of losing him is still very much in my heart, but life must go on.

Now, it's just the two of us, me and Mom, trying to survive each day without starving ourselves and without losing a shelter to live in. With the business going bankrupt and all our assets gone, we have nothing left, not to mention that we've spent all of our savings to pay for Dad's hospital bills.

I step into the building and climb up the stairs, heading to our place. After I reach the third floor, the sound of a newborn baby crying echoes in my ears while I'm passing my neighbor's door. The newlyweds have just been blessed with a baby girl.

Warm sips into my heart. How joyful. Thinking about such a little light makes me feel like all the other problems in the world vanish.

I open the door to our apartment and step in. "I'm home," I hum, but there's no response.

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