to.get.her. | BTS

열 여덟 - still with me.

__________________________

What am I going to do?

I stare at the snow globe sitting across from me on my bedside drawer. The snow swirls continuously. It's always annoyed me how it never stops.

That's it.

* * *

Taehyung's POV continued:

Racing through the door of the back entrance, I enter the staff- sector of the BigHit building just in time. I stop to catch my breath.

Ryu Narae. Where is Ryu Narae?

My head is still spinning with thoughts, yet I can't let myself stop to think. If I do, I may end up rethinking what I'm about to do next.

I quickly adjust my messenger bag and reposition my cap so it covers my eyes. Not that it doesn't happen, but it's slightly unusual to see an idol visiting the staff section of BigHit, especially so early in the morning. And today, I was especially not trying to be stopped.

As it was the morning, the main lobby wasn't bustling with busy staff as it usually was during the afternoon. A few people resided, seemingly focused on work duties. Trying to appear casual, I make my way down the hall to the narrow staircase, all the while mentally preparing myself for the next step.

I first met...or should I say, noticed Narae during the final stretches of the Love Yourself  tour. Those final stretches were what I perceive to be the toughest time in my life.

This was because my grandmother had just passed away.

_ _ _

I remember that night. We had just finished our final concert in Japan. The members tried comforting me as non-stop streams of tears fell on my face as we entered backstage. I had just given out a heartfelt message to my grandma on stage, and at that moment everything felt final. It was just too much.

After entering backstage, my vision went cloudy. Emotion overwhelmed me. The concert only brought back memories and thoughts of what could have been. The people around me didn't matter anymore. Nothing did.

The next thing I knew, I was running. 

I don't know for long, if it was for a few seconds or for an hour, but I was stopped by a pair of hefty men who grabbed me by the hands and waist. I trashed around before eventually feeling weakness in all my bones. My head was now pounding and I was seeing sparks. I shut my eyes tightly and slumped my head.

Let me go. Let me go....

"Let him go," said a woman with a strong, yet calm voice.

Grandma.

I knew she wouldn't leave me.

I hear the men pause before eventually letting go. A pair of soft hands, presumably that of a woman's, carefully grab my shoulders. They turn me around and help me to a seat nearby. I put my face into my hands and shut my eyes tighter. Focus.

"Listen, boy," said the voice. Slowly, I looked up.

Now that I could focus, I realized with a dropping heart that this voice wasn't my grandmother's. The woman kneeled down to reach my height. She had soft winkles and her eyes bore into mine just as my grandmother's eyes had always done. And they calmed me down just the same.

"Your grandma," she continued, "will forever be with you. Maybe not on this green earth, but in here," she gently touched my chest, where my heart was beating, "and here," she then gently placed her hand on my forehead.

"Keep her memories with you."

She will always be with me...

The woman slowly gets up and disappears around a corner, only to return in a few seconds with something in her hand.

A beautiful snow globe with the words "Love Yourself" covered in swirling snow.

She sat down next to me and put a hand on my hunched shoulders.

"For you," she said, handing me the snow globe. The woman's eyes locked in on mine and she smiled.

"My name is Ryu Narae. You can come to talk to me anytime."

And for a second, it was like I was with her again. Grandma.

She will always be with me...

Ever since then, I've kept Ryu Narae close.

_ _ _

As I made my way towards the stairway, I hear rumbling voices and bustling in the distance. They were coming from the closed doors of the meeting rooms downstairs. The higher-ups must have called a meeting.

Must be because our comeback is so soon.

As I moved closer to the staircase, the noises became louder. It now dawns on me the oddity of the almost empty main lobby. With our comeback just around the corner, why wasn't the place a bit busier?

It must mean the meeting must not only contain the higher-ups but most of the staff as well.

But what type of meeting would need so many staff?

Yet I wasn't able to complete my thoughts, because as I reached the stairway, where Narae's office was located at the bottom, I picked up noises of urgent bickering. I stopped and looked down.

I then sighed a breath of relief. It was Narae. She was speaking with a higher up at the bottom of the staircase in what seemed like an urgent tone. Although the hallway was empty, she didn't notice me at the top.

Then this should be a breeze.

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