Externalizing [mxm]

Chapter 4

Marc snapped awake, his breathing ragged and his stomach still churning. He sat up quickly and kicked back the sheets as he tried to calm himself down. It was just after four in the morning. He ran his hands down his face and took another moment to breathe.

He climbed out of his bed and went down the hall to Ariel’s room. He went in quietly, watching her lay in the bed that was far too large for her—but she would grow into it, so he didn’t have to replace it. He settled back in the cushioned chair in the corner of her room, crossing one leg over the other.

Marc let out a long sigh, debating for the thousandth time if he was actually doing this right. He knew nothing about raising a child, much less what it might be like to raise a girl. Wouldn’t there be some teenage stage where she was running around screaming about how she hated her dad?

He watched the sun slowly start to seep into the room, starting with a soft blue morning light. By then he knew it had to be closer to six and snuck out of Ariel’s room.

Marc went to get ready for the day and got mostly dressed before he woke Ariel up for the morning. He was downstairs in the kitchen when the landline rang, making him jolt. Only one person ever called the house phone. He stared it down for a moment before finally picking it up.

“Hey, dad,” Marc answered.

“Good morning, Marc. How have things been? It’s been a while,” the man greeted. “How’s Ariel doing?”

“She’s doing fine,” Marc muttered. “She’s up getting ready for school, and I’m working on breakfast.”

“That’s good. How has work been? Busy?”

“Tiring,” Marc went on shortly.

“Understandable. The company has been expanding a lot,” his dad went on. “And if you need someone to watch Ariel for a few hours a day or something, you know I’m not doing much these days.”

“I know.” Marc cleared his throat. “Look, I’m in the middle of making breakfast,” he said again. “Kind of hard to balance with the phone, I should go.”

“Maybe I could talk to Ariel for a few minutes, then?” he tried.

“She’s not ready yet, and I don’t want her to be late. Maybe another time.” Marc set the phone back into its cradle and heaving a long sigh.

“Who was that?” Ariel piped up from behind, making Marc jump and tense.

“No one, just a wrong number,” Marc said. “Go take a seat.”

“What are you making?” Ariel tipped up on her toes to try and get a look, since he was actually using the stove.

“Careful, back off.” Marc nudged her away with his elbow. “It’s just bacon and eggs.” One of his few capable meals, as he’d decided to go outside of his bounds of cereal and toaster strudels.