Externalizing [mxm]

Chapter 15

“So you told him,” Dr. Sterling echoed. “How did that go?”

Marc shrugged. “He got a little awkward about it… I think he was surprised, to say the least. And then I ended up telling another friend as well, though I think she had kind of guessed it already from Brendan and I hanging out so much.”

“Well what do you want to do about it now?” she asked. “Do you think it’ll change anything with Brendan?”

“Nothing for right now… I’m still kind of thinking on it. I think that yeah, I could see myself liking Brendan, but I just don’t know how to go about it and so I think I need to wait, or try and find some other way to go about it.”

“Sounds like you’ve already been thinking about it a lot,” she pointed out.

Marc only shrugged again. “I realize he comes up a lot when I talk about him, or that he’s my first go-to when I want to spend time with someone or need help. I just think he’s tried to avoid thinking of me like that, since he thought I was straight.”

Dr. Sterling nodded and smiled at him. “You’re right, it’ll probably take him some time to get used to that. Do you think you’ll tell anyone else?”

“It’s not anyone else’s business,” Marc grumbled.

“And say down the line, what would you do about going on a public date? People would figure it out then.”

“I’ll deal with it when it gets there,” Marc decided firmly. If he wanted to, he had a decent glare.

“And what about Ariel?”

“She already loves Brendan,” Marc chuckled. “And I don’t think she’s old enough to really have any judgments about it. She’d ask, and then ask if we can have eggplant for dinner afterwards.” He’d heard plenty of funny stories about kids just straight up moving on with no problems.

“It’s good I think that you have that sort of assurance about yourself already,” she commented. “I think Brendan would appreciate something like that.”

Marc cleared his throat awkwardly. Mostly because Brendan had been right—there was no use in being ashamed about anything.

“He’s started opening up more about himself to me, too,” Marc added. “After I told him, we started talking about other things too. He told me he used to self-harm back in high school, which I guess isn’t that big of a surprise, but I imagine he’s so different now it’s hard to think of him having resorted to something like that once. I think a lot of the tattoos he has cover up the scars.”

“Self-harm is a lot more common than people think,” Dr. Sterling admitted on a sigh, briefly checking the time. “How do you think your father would act if you told him? If you two ever talked again.”

Marc ground his teeth together. “Violently,” he answered shortly. He could already feel it.