Externalizing [mxm]

Chapter 8

Marc faced his father again, in the same black hole as always. Nothing underneath, above, or around them aside from the blackness. The lack of sound was deafening, because Marc didn’t need words to know what was coming.

The longer they both stood there the more Marc’s stomach twisted with nerves and making him feel sick. Ariel entered into it then; on her knees and painting as she spilled the cup of paint water in front of Marc’s father again.

Marc forced his eyes open, waking up before he could see anything more. His ears were still buzzing slightly as he sat up and rubbed his face. He snuck into Ariel’s room in the small hours of the morning and watched her again.

He and Brendan were supposed to meet and talk later that day, and he was trying to tell himself that that was a good thing. But he’d been thinking over it for three days already and still wasn’t sure how he was supposed to say anything. At the same time, Brendan was intuitive enough that maybe Marc wouldn’t have to say everything.

As the sun started to come up and fill the room with the first morning light, he woke Ariel up. He went downstairs to start breakfast, this time expanding his horizons with pancakes.

He and Brendan still hadn’t really talked about where, yet. The Drunken Monkey would be nice, but Marc wasn’t sure he would want to be drinking or talk in a place where someone could overhear. Otherwise, the coffee shop was a possibility too, but that might be too crowded. Maybe he would let Brendan pick.

Marc drove Ariel to school, and saw Brendan locking up his bike outside. “Where did you want to go tonight?” Brendan asked.

Marc shrugged. “Somewhere we can talk.”

“You can just come over to my place if you want,” Brendan offered. “Blueberry will either keep to herself or be at work, or we can go lock ourselves up in a room.”

Marc agreed with that and took Ariel to sign her in for before care.

The entire day at work Marc was still trying to piece his mind together, to try and plan out what he wanted to say and talk about. Could he just go into it, or should he ease into what he wanted to say? He wasn’t sure he could do it that way, because then his mind usually stopped him.

He got most of his work done in more of an automatic motion than him actually paying attention to what he was doing. He left at the same time that he did every day, picking up Ariel from school and taking her home. Marc made sure there was something to throw together for dinner when Terri came over later.

Marc was then counting down the time until it was a little before five, and Terri’s mom dropped her off. Marc chatted briefly with her and promised he wouldn’t be home too late.

He drove to Brendan’s then and sat outside for a while before knocking on the door. Brendan answered almost instantly and invited him in.

Inside was small and slightly cramped, but it was cozy. Brendan’s roommate, Blueberry—because Marc couldn’t remember her actual name now—was sitting on the couch and watching TV. She waved briefly at him as Brendan led the way upstairs and into a bedroom.