Externalizing [mxm]

Chapter 12

Marc bounced his knee nervously, though it was the only give away. Otherwise he was tense and straight, glaring down the glossy magazine covers set out in front of him. He checked his watch again even though he knew he was early and shouldn’t be expecting them to be out yet.

He’d decided to go with it and had set up a counseling appointment. He’d looked one up—and gotten more than enough results—and spent almost an entire day narrowing it down to someone who sounded good. He assumed he was supposed to be able to connect with the person, but he would see how that went.

Some Doctor Jordan Sterling that was around his age, although Marc still wasn’t sure if it was a man or a woman. He decided he really shouldn’t care at this point since they both had their ups and downs. He was slightly more nervous about talking to another man though.

He let out a sigh of relief as a dark haired woman came out and stopped by reception as she was pointed in his direction. Marc stood up quickly and shook her hand without much greeting. “Marc Lane,” Marc said curtly.

“Doctor Sterling,” she said, smiling at him and guiding him back to an office.

It was large enough to not feel cramped—if it was any smaller he would have called it cozy. There was a two person couch and a few single arm chairs, as well as her desk and a shelf full of books. Marc started inspecting the books while he could so that he could get a sense of what she might be like.

“Marc,” she interrupted gently. “Do you want to take a seat?”

He grunted and went for the blue arm chair closest to the door. He lounged back and spread out at first, before feeling like that might be rude and correcting himself to crossing one leg over the other and folding his arms against his chest.

“So in the paperwork, you said you haven’t been to counseling before,” she recited. “I can’t disclose anything discussed with anyone else unless you give me written permission, and if anyone calls to see if you’re a patient, I’ll say I know nothing. However, I’m a mandatory reporter in cases of abuse or the threat of someone hurting themselves or others. Is that all good?”

Marc just nodded his head, feeling only slightly better. It’s not like anyone would be calling to check in and see what he was talking about anyways—no one knew he was here, not even Brendan at this point. Marc would probably tell him afterwards.

“So what brings you to my office today?” Dr. Sterling asked, folding her hands in her lap. There was a clipboard by her feet but she wasn’t reaching for it yet.

Marc didn’t even know where to start, so he went with the easy one: “My dad,” he said shortly, though he knew it wasn’t very much to go on. They stared at each other for a minute as he waited for her to say something and Dr. Sterling waited for him to say more. “I recently cut him out of my life,” he went on. “I made it clear to him that I don’t want him around myself or my daughter.” He was still expecting his father to call though.

“What prompted all of that?” Dr. Sterling asked.

Marc twitched slightly. It had taken what, almost two months for him to even tell Brendan that? But then counseling was supposed to talk about these things. “He was… very abusive to me growing up,” Marc answered quietly, shrugging his shoulders. “Even into my college years, until I stopped coming around for a while. I got married and had a child, so he started insisting on being part of my life again, and I let him because I thought I was supposed to. He was family.”