Externalizing [mxm]

Chapter 18

A/N: Sorry I've been so slow with updates in general... work has been killing me a bit, even though it's summer (let's not talk about playing video games, though :P haha)

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"So I've got a few replies for people that'll be coming tomorrow from her class... just a handful. You think seven is enough?" Marc asked worriedly. With Brendan's advice, he'd invited all of Ariel's classmates. Only a few of them were coming though, and he felt guilty for it.

"It'll be fine," Whitney said for what had to be the fifth time. She picked up some of the unused invitations and turned them around in her hands. "In a year she won't even think about it."

Marc grunted and checked his e-mail one more time. Brendan was picking up the cake for it in the morning, though he'd been keeping a slight distance with Whitney back in town. It had been more of a mutual thing. He hadn't been angry really, but he'd obviously been uncomfortable with the idea of Whitney.

She'd been staying back at her parents place though, and had since passed on the word that Marc was gay to them. They seemed elated as to find out that's why things hadn't worked out. Whitney had asked about Marc's dad as well at that point, but he hadn't been able to tell her.

"You think Brendan will hate me?" Whitney asked dubiously.

"No," Marc answered, mostly sure. "I think he's just had a bad impression and he doesn't know how to face you or get to know you otherwise."

Whitney nodded and continued to play with the invitations, lingering into the evening since Ariel had already been sent to bed. Her birthday had really been the day before, but the party was for Saturday.

"So you haven't told your dad yet?" she asked again. "What if he's there tomorrow?"

Marc let out a long sigh then. "He won't be. He wasn't invited."

"To Ariel's party? But he adores Ariel..." she pointed out cautiously.

Marc ground his teeth together, trying to figure out where even to start. "He and I aren't talking anymore, and I've forbid him from seeing Ariel. Even before I started dating Brendan. Back in high school... you know, a lot of the reason I was uncomfortable in bed was one thing... but another was just showing my body. He was abusive to me growing up, and I had just gotten stuck in this cycle of him being in my life, but never trusting him with Ariel. And so finally I just told him to leave us alone."

"Abusive?" Whitney echoed, thinking over it. "I mean... shit. Now I kind of see it all I guess but—hell, I never even noticed before... I'm so sorry," she admitted stiffly.

"I did a lot to try and hide it, even from you." Marc shrugged. "But since that, he doesn't even know that I'm gay now, or that I'm dating Brendan. I could only imagine it going worse from all of that. He's tried calling a few times this week but I haven't taken any of them. Ariel understands I don't want him around, and I've told her not to be alone with him."

"But I mean... Ariel would be different, right?" Whitney asked worriedly. "He wouldn't hurt her."

"Maybe not. But as soon as she does something he doesn't agree with... you know, all kids do. Doing what you told them not too, or accidentally breaking something, who knows. That's when I'd be afraid for her," Marc explained. "I've seen it before. She was too young to remember. He told her not to touch his soda, but she was two. She wasn't going to listen. So she went for the soda, and he couldn't seem to understand why she wasn't listening to him..."

"Okay, okay," Whitney straightened up. "Got it. He's not allowed to see her." She settled back into her chair with defeat then. "I can't believe you never told me, even when we were older. I mean even that explains a lot now I think... gay aside, you were never very affectionate." She paused. "Brendan knows?"