The Ghost of Dome Rock Road

We're Not in Kansas Anymore

Barry gazed ahead sleepily. He was just coming to his senses, like a person who had just woke up from a deep sleep. Except, this felt very different! He performed a quick scan of himself but couldn't make out any specific body features. Strangely, he had this feeling of weightlessness, like he might be in outer space or something - except this wasn't outer space. It was like a dream, but not like a dream. Everything was VERY REAL!

He realized he was in the back of a police cruiser. That didn't seem strange since he'd been in plenty of police cruisers in his 35 years on the planet. Barry was the black sheep of his family. His parents, John and Edna, were well-known throughout western Arizona. John Jankins was the Bagdad Copper Mine's superintendent. BCM boasted one of the largest copper reserves in the United States, perhaps even the world. John had considerable political influence in the region, and it seemed he was constantly bailing Barry out of some jam. John was not happy about Barry's many "quirks." John would verbally abuse Barry over minor things. This frequent admonishment had a devastating effect on Barry's psyche.

This time, sitting in this cruiser, it was different. For one thing, faint voices were coming from somewhere, everywhere. It sounded like some kind of argument, but Barry couldn't quite make out what they were saying. Looking out through the front windshield of the cruiser, he saw the back end of what he thought might be his truck. He could see the license plate, and sure enough, it was his plate. He could clearly make out his AZZKIKR vanity plate. The truck was totally wrecked!

Just then, his thoughts were interrupted by a person opening the driver's side door and getting into the driver's seat. It was an Arizona Highway patrolman. He recognized the Smokey Bear hat as the man removed the cap and placed it on the front seat. Barry thought to himself, 'what the fuck is going on here?' Then he started hearing voices in his head. The voices kept getting louder as he realized they were talking to him. One voice was quite a bit more booming than the other. "Yeah, mAn! I'v,e biN watin fir y.u... Let' s goo have some ... fun!..... Now, w.e.. Kan reaLlly kik some ass!" The other voice was much softer, encouraging, and calm, but Barry couldn't tell what this voice was saying.

As the cop started making a call on his cell phone, Barry looked out through the front window again. This time, he noticed a yellow sheet covering something on the road next to his mangled truck. He could see the bottom half of a pair of cowboy boots protruding ever so slightly from the edge of the plastic blanket. "Stetson boots! Those are Stetson boots!" he thought. Then, like a massive gust of wind rushing through his whole being, he realized those were HIS boots!! This wasn't a dream, was it? This was something else, and it was not good. Not good at all! Barry thought to himself. We're not in Kansas anymore, are we, Toto?

The activity in the front seat distracted Barry once again. The cop finished making his phone call when he turned to his laptop computer. He tapped on the keyboard and up popped an image of Barry's Arizona Driver License. Barry never did like the mugshot on that ID. His precious Eileen had just cut his hair because she wanted to practice for her beautician class. 'Oh my god, another thing she started but never finished!' he thought to himself as he stared at the image of his mangled hairdo on the cop's laptop. Someone outside the vehicle motioned to the cop. He opened his door and exited the vehicle. As he did, Barry could hear him mumbling something under his breath, "That poor guy never knew what hit him!"

The anger started to build helter-skelter in Barry, fueled by this constant chatter in his head. The louder voice was really on him now. "Hey mAn, fucå tHat pig! Th_s is the bÈst thing that eVer hap--ned to yÒu buudy. I'll shW yu' shit you never dreÃmed you cAuld d0!" "Ok! Ok! Just shut the fuck up!" Barry shouted out as he leaned forward. As he did, he passed straight through the protective shield between the front and back seats and punched the steering wheel of the cruiser. Just then, the police cruiser's horn blared out, which made the trooper and his cop buddy, both standing in front of the vehicle, jump a little and stare back into the cruiser as if to say – who did that? Barry sat back and cracked a smile, realizing he had just passed through a solid barrier without giving it a second thought and gave those cops a nice scare. That loud, cranky voice from before bellowed, "I t0ld ya So!"

Barry could still hear that quiet voice, though. It sounded like it was trying, unsuccessfully at first, to get his attention. It softly said, "Barry! Barry! choose... choose..." Barry looked up and gazed briefly at the screen on the cop's laptop. The image of his driver's license was gone, and the laptop's screen saver had activated. It was pulsing two words alternately, back and forth, back and forth. It seemed like his eyes were covered in some kind of filming substance, and he had to squint hard to read the words. Suddenly, they began to flash brightly on the screen. First, the word Choose flashed, then the word Wisely. Choose Wisely! What did that mean? Barry thought about those two words as his surroundings seemed to dissolve around him - like one of those special effects in the movies. Then poof! Darkness...