Bud Has A Spiritual Awakening

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Bud had a scratchy throat and a case of acid indigestion, but for the first time in what seemed like forever, he did not have a feeling of impending doom that would darken his doorstep every morning. They went out into the desert last night. The old man would occasionally do some spiritual chants and rub various substances on Bud he got from a pouch hanging from his belt. They built a large bonfire, and the old man pulled some greenish-looking buttons from his pouch and told Bud to eat them. Bud remembered how calm and beautiful it was in the cool desert evening. It was as if he could have reached up with his arms and touched the milky white cloud of stars above. When they returned to Jack Willis' trailer, the old man prepared a rather colorful concoction he had Bud to drink. He told Bud it would help clear his mind and allow him to get a good night's sleep - something Bud hadn't had in months. Indeed, it worked. Bud Granato slept like a baby!

Bud looked at the framed photograph hanging on the wall. The picture was old and faded. It was a photograph of a Native American dance ritual. In the middle of the group was a taller man who looked strikingly like a much younger version of Jack Willis. The young Willis was holding a rod with eagle feathers attached in one hand. In the other, he was holding a sizeable western diamondback rattlesnake. From the photograph, Bud couldn't tell if the snake was dead or alive. Bud got to his feet and looked out the window. The sun was rising to the east. There was a thin mist in the air that hung over the desert floor like a veil. He noticed the old man sitting in a rickety wooden rocking chair on the front porch. He was having a somewhat animated conversation with an enormous red-tail hawk perched on a hitching post. The old man sent the raptor into flight with a flick of his wrist when he saw Bud eyeing him from the window. He motioned Bud to join him outside.

"You slept well?" the old man asked. "Yeah, boy, did I ever," Bud replied. "I remember having this crazy dream last night." "Go on, Mr. G.," said the old man, calling him by a nickname he had given to Bud the night before. "Yeah, it was strange. I was standing in the middle of a large open field, with rolling hills in every direction. There were tall stalks of wheat as far as I could see in every direction." The old man continued nursing the last few drops out of his coffee cup. "Then, suddenly, I heard a roaring sound from the hill behind me. I turned around and saw smoke and flames shooting dozens of feet up into the air. The fire was coming right for me!" The old man's eyes widened with anticipation as Bud continued.

"As the fire broke over the hill, I saw all these animals, panic-stricken, trying to get away from the fire. Damn! They were on me before I knew it. Coyotes, buffalo, bobcats, deer, all kinds of creatures. They were rushing by me trying to get away from the approaching inferno." "What did you do?" the old man asked. "Nothing! I froze. I couldn't move. It was like my legs weighed a thousand pounds each. I thought, Oh shit! I'm a goner... No sooner did I have this thought than a giant... I mean, a giant eagle swooped down and landed right next to me." The old man grinned. "It was probably ten times bigger than any eagle I ever saw in real life. It talked to me. Yes, I said talked to me!" "What did it say?" the old man asked Bud. "It told me to 'climb on - that it would take me to safety.'"

Now, tiny beads of sweat started to form on Bud's forehead. The old man gave Bud a red bandana to wipe the moisture off his face. "What happened then, Mr. G.?" "Well, I got on, of course! I could feel the heat of the fire approaching as the eagle spread its massive wings and swoosh!! We were airborne." The old man turned and stared out at the desert morning sky, but Bud could tell he was listening intently. "I remember being up in the air. High up in the air. The fire was consuming everything in its path. But I was safe, high above it all."

Then I got this thought.' This isn't real. Eagles can't carry a full-grown man on their back and be flying around like this. It started doubting that I would be saved from the fiery inferno. No sooner did I have this thought than I looked down, and the eagle was gone. I was still in the air, but now I was drifting back to the ground." The old man turned back to Bud. "You stopped trusting the eagle... yes, Mr. G.?" "Huh?" Bud replied. The old man did not answer. "Anyway, I remember thinking,' I don't want to die. I wish the eagle would come back. I remembered thinking I really need that eagle and like really bad - right this second!"

"And when you had this thought, the eagle appeared once again...yes, Mr. G.?" "Yes! It appeared again underneath me and raised me back up into the sky. How did you know?" Bud asked the old man. "Because you have put all your trust in things you have learned from books and schools, Mr. G. But when it comes to the spirit world, you lack faith and understanding, Mr. G." "But I do believe in God," Bud declared. "I mean, I did years ago. I grew up a Catholic. I had no choice, really. That's what my folks wanted. We never talked about church and God at home. I think we only went because my mom forced us to go. I remember asking my dad once about why we were going to church every Sunday. He said, "because it makes your mother happy, son."

The old man scrunched his nose, kind of like you would see if one had just bitten down on a sour lemon. "That is not what I mean when I speak of the spirit world, Mr. G. The spirit world I am talking about is everywhere. It flows through everything around us. - It flows through us if we let it. But we must let it in. It cannot force itself upon us." Bud watched the red-tail hawk circle high about them as the old man continued. "When you doubted the eagle in your dream, you doubted the power of the spirit world. But when you asked for help, the eagle returned and brought you back to safety. When we doubt the spirit world, we are left alone to meet the challenges of life."

"I think I understand, Jack," Bud said. "When I was younger, I had this blind trust in God that I was taught in Sunday School. I remember I used to pray every day, and I was involved in lots of church activities. I had a lot of fun then. I felt good about myself. Then the priest at my church and my two close friends from church moved away. Looking back at that now, I think I felt like the God I knew then abandoned me after that." Tears began to well up in Bud's eyes. The old man looked down at the ground and shook his head. "My new friend, you are not alone in these thoughts. Many turn away from the power that flows from the Great Creator. We cut ourselves off from its guidance and comfort. You spoke last night in the desert about how your trouble with alcohol started when you were a teenager. Perhaps when you walked away from the Creator, you tried to live your life solely on your own willpower. When things did not go right, you doubted yourself... blamed yourself."

Bud slumped down on the top step of the porch. He stared out at the desert with a faraway gaze. "Mr. G., what you did not realize... what you could not realize because you were trapped in thoughts only of yourself. We must work to make ourselves one with our surroundings, not selfishly wish that everything conforms to our own wishes or desires."

"So, what do I do?" Bud asked. "Let us go to the lodge today, my friend. We will cleanse and meditate there. There, we may find answers," the old man said, trying to reassure Bud. "Perhaps we will learn more about your dream?" "Ok, Jack... whatever you say. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. I'm all in!"

"I do have a question, Jack. "Yes, what is your question, Mr. G." "Earlier, it looked like you were having a conversation with a bird out here on the porch. What was that all about?" "My spirit friend, the red-tailed one, has been trying to help me find the evil spirit your friends are seeking. He said he thinks he knows where it may be hiding." "And?" Bud asked. "The red-tailed one found a cave in the mountains. But my friend thinks he was discovered. Now I am concerned the evil spirit may know we are coming for it?"


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