Love Just Isn't Safe (Paul LaHote)

Chapter 7

My dreams were full of freedom and lightness. One would expect me to dream of my attempted suicide attempt, but that wasn't the case. I was straddling something that looked like a silver horse, and he was running through the forest at high speed. The smell of the woods filled my nose and it smelled like heaven. As the wind blew around my face and hair and I felt like I could easily lift off the ground and fly off into the horizon forever. I had never in my life felt so free as I did in this single moment of peace.

All of the sudden, I felt myself being lifted back to the surface of the sky. The forest disappeared with it's smell, and I no longer felt the silver horse between my legs. Though this wasn't the free flying feeling I was looking for. More like I was being sucked into a vacuum. I came to rest on the black clouds with something warm and soft wrapped around me.

My eyes opened and I realized Paul was laying behind me just like he was last night only he had pulled me so tight against his chest that my small frame had nearly molded into his. Paul had wrapped his leg around one of mine, this made me close my eyes for a moment in irritation. He had saved my life what was I going to do? Push him away? Even if I had the lack of a heart to do that, I was in an iron hold. Even when I was fifteen I couldn't get out of Paul's arms when he used me for a teddy bear.

His head rested on top of mine so I could easily hear his soft snores echoing in my ear. I just thank god that he wasn't drooling this morning. He he ever drooled he would seriously cover the entire side of the pillow hence why I'm so grateful.

He mumbled something and pulled me closer if possible to his chest and all the air left my lungs. I pinch some of his skin and pull his arm back thinking this would wake him up. All it did was make his arm fall to the side allowing me to slide away so I could breathe again.

The over sized sweatshirt that I had on my small frame was so large that it worked almost like a dress, so I stand up and stretch out the sore muscles in my legs and arms. Surprisingly though, I didn't hurt all over like I usually do in the mornings. It was a good thing since I didn't have my pill bottle with me. I couldn't tell if that was going to be a problem or not.

Behind me, Paul rustled around and noticed me not in his arms. He opened his eyes and noticed me standing stretching and smiled a little bit. I didn't smile back though, what was I supposed to do in this awkward situation? "You don't have to be afraid of me Elsa," he says from behind me.

My head snaps towards him at his statement. I cross my arms, "What makes you think I'm afraid of you?" my voice wasn't any less scratchy than it had been the night before but it was less painful. Just to prove my point, I walk back over and sat down next to him noticing the slight chill on my bare pale legs.

"Most people are," he said then reached over leaning one hand on the other side of me leaning in close. "And because I have you, out in the middle of nowhere all alone," he whispers in my ear. "All to myself," I bite my lips and lean away from him, he just leans forward realizing the effect that he has on me. Paul smirks smugly, noticing the erratic breaths I was taking. "I'd be afraid," he whispers, his hot breath hitting my face.

He's humiliated me enough, I gather my courage and lean upwards so our noses were touching, "Well, I'm not," I narrow my eyes at him.

He takes the challenge and puts his large hand on my stomach gently pushing me backwards. I had no choice but to lay back against the pillow. Paul rests his forearm over my head, "Your heartbeat says otherwise," his breath was hot against my skin and my heart rate accelerated a million miles per hour. He leans his head down into my neck and takes a long big whiff of my hair and my skin. I have to remind myself to breathe while he does this, he places a small kiss on my neck and I have to suppress a moan. Paul then looks at me with a smug grin and stands, "Come on, you need to get that salt water off your skin." He walked over to some of the boxes and pulls out a white T shirt that he slips over his head covering his half naked self.