Hue of Ochre (Alucard/Adrian Tepes x Reader)

VII. Resolve

VIII. Shit. It was worse than I thought. Considering the extent of the wound, I may have kid myself into an optimistic mindset. That's what he thought while checking the typical rabbit traps for possible prey. Only one so far. He'd come back again after gathering the roots for her analgesic. How did I even end up nursing a homeless folk girl… 

The truth was that he saw himself in her. An orphan, wounded and alone in the world, knocked on his door asking him for shelter. He couldn't stand seeing her get tormented by hunger, illness or even nightmares when he could absolve her from all of them. Protect her. 

Nonsense… He shook said thought off. He didn't know her. Or her motives. For all he knew that story about the buried people in the church or the one of her fight with her mother could have been crafted at the spot to earn his sympathy. Yet that pain in her eyes when retailing those tales was unmistakable. And her tone sounded… confessional. Wholehearted. Even shameful. She even shared her sympathies for his late mother with such honesty… He shouldn't have let her stay. She shared and shared in his pain. She understood him. The first person to come in contact with in over three months… He was still mourning. There was no room for new connections. But could he kick a wounded bird out of his nest? Even his father accepted his mother and agreed to share his knowledge with her… Fuck. 

She was afraid of him too. Double fuck. He couldn't even show his fangs around her. The teeth of a carnivore. A predator. A ruthless beast. He could never seem normal to her. Approachable. He could never make her feel safe. Good. No attachments after all. He could be the boogeyman so effortlessly. She even shuddered at his touch. Perfect. Her sweet blood ran cold in her veins when she learned his name. Oh, her blood, her sweet blood. The best he ever had. Left him needy and wanting more. He could suck her dry. 

He dropped his backpack on the grass. Around him trees climbed as high as they could to reach further than he ever could. One looked exactly like the next and so on. The perfect getaway. It had taken him some time to find the perfectly secluded place. Even he got disoriented sometimes when trying to find it. 

He knelt. 

'What am I to do, mother?', he sighed. A portrait of his mother hung from a tree, underneath it, withered flowers from his last visit. He was looking up at the smiling woman, confused and conflicted. 'Have I failed you again?' Everyday he missed her more… 

He cleaned the old flowers and replaced them with fresh ones, carefully placing each colorful blossom at the root of the tree. What would she recommend he do? 

That he stop blaming himself for everything that happened and that he quit punishing himself by secluding himself inside the walls of his castle? That he should consider this opportunity as a gateway back to reality? That he should even admit he's jealous of Trevor and Sypha for fighting night creatures all over the land together while he spent his sleep deprived nights sobbing and rampaging his own property? That he should even try to establish a connection on his own for the first time? 

'Please, help me mom… You always knew what to do…'. A single tear glimmered when getting hit by the light that escaped the thick evergreen branches; he wiped it off before turning back and leaving, having gotten his answer. 

****

'(Y/N), get up', he told you, your head too disoriented to know from where. You pushed your body up with all your strength to sit up on the bed that you laid on. 'Are you feeling better? How's your leg?' 

'I'm-yeah, I'm fine. Blessed and highly favored!', you replied, rubbing your eyes with your hands to de-haze your vision. Alucard had already discarded the drug covered binding and replaced it with dry gases. 

'I can tell. The opium surely did it's job…' 

'Hey Alucard! Since when do you have a moving ceiling?', you said looking up at all the moving shapes and colors. 

'Since when do I have a- oh'. He looked up confused. 'Maybe the opium wasn't a good idea.' 

'No no, look! A little rabbit is getting chased by a cloud!', you pointed at the blank white ceiling. 

'Poor thing… Speaking of unfortunate rabbits, we're having rabbit stew for dinner. I mean if you're willing to join me, that is…' 

'Of course I'll join you, Alucard. Only if you promise to not have me for dessert', you said with an absent minded smile. 'You know… Cuz you're a vampire…. And vampires dri-', you collapsed back down the bed. 

Yes, the opium was a bad idea.