The City is a place where everything resets after the lights have gone out: relationships, conversations, memories. Everything is inside an irreversible loop and no one knows it. All except for one girl.
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Jule, a resident of the City...
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If there is one thing left to do before I die, what would that be?
Those thoughts ran through my head as I walked to school, munching on Mr. Comb's barbecue. I was finally in the mood for a no-breakfast morning but I happened by Mr. Comb's grill and I didn't stop myself on time to ask for a plate of steak.
So now, I have to finish this plate before I get to Campus.
Still, the question rang in my ears as I recalled where I got it this morning. It was from a box which I unearthed from the family knickknack room the other day.
It's supposed to be a family thing. We used to deposit things we no longer use or need into that empty room. Every once in a while, we were supposed to come back to it and sift through the things to find something we could still use.
I don't remember who thought of that idea but I liked it. I have thrown a bunch of stuff into that room—ones I remember and ones I don't. Sometimes, when I'm bored at home and don't want to go to school, I sift through the items in the room.
It's amazing how the things I once took for granted and threw away would contain so many memories when I found them again. It just proves that human hearts tend to see a thing's value right after they stay blind to it. You regret things not because you had them but because you lost them, somehow.
Like recently, I found this really cute white stuffed bear I never knew I had. I was immediately drawn to it so I started taking it to bed every evening. For some reason, the bear always disappears by morning. It had become a part of my morning routine to retrieve that bear from the room before taking a bath.
That's where the box of questions comes in.
A few days ago, I found Mom's box of internal questions to ask oneself. It's supposed to be for a party or whatever but she stashed it in that room like it wasn't needed anymore. Did something happen that she needed to forget about for a while?
The questions were thrown around the box hazily, perhaps to randomize the choices. I decided to try it and drew a card that says, If there is one thing left to do before you die, what would that be?
That got me thinking. I already did everything the human mind was capable of thinking. I've tried everything. I saw everything. What else was there to do? Well, there was one, which was to get out of this loop, but I was slowly figuring that out.
To be frank, I still don't know how to do it. I have the motivation, I have the person. I just don't know how in the world I was going to use them to my advantage. I know it's kind of evil to use people, but in this world, in this reality, I just have to.
I was not a good person and I don't try to be. I don't have that self-consciousness to always watch my step and be a perfect example of how a human life should be. I was just living. Whether I was hurting anyone or not was beyond my reasoning.
