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Part 5

Sierra POV
Recently I'd been feeling really uncomfortable with my gender some days. Today was one of those days. So I slid out of bed throwing a sports bra on and my usual hoodie and black jeans along with converse. All my friends call me Silas now because recently I realized that I don't think I'm a girl. It sounds odd but I don't think I am. I'm still trying to figure it out but I'm not a boy. I guess non binary or agender fits. Idk but I walked downstairs quickly and greeted my mom who just looked sadly at me. Ugh I wish no one had found out about this. Now everyone is gonna think fo me as fragile. I'm so pissed. I put in my earbuds and grabbed an apple. It's the smallest I could have for breakfast. While I was listening to my music and just staring at the Apple I felt two hands tap on my back although they were definitely from 2 different people. I turned around taking my earbuds out seeing Demi and Maddie. Maddie looked at me sadly and I just shook my head. She nodded and walked away. Demi however sat down next to me. They started playing with my hair. Then they said "Sierra eat" I sighed but took a bite out of the apple. Slowly I finished the apple and looked at my phone. I have a few messages from Winter. One saying "hey Si? I need advice on something" the next saying "I kind of like someone." And the final one saying "it's a girl" I smiled and began to respond "Hey Winter what exactly do u need advice on? and awwww it's so cute you found someone u like who is it????????" Adding several more question marks I sent the message and continued to talk to her. Once everything was sorted out and I found out who it was . It was Alli. She was a girl I had met in the studio at one point when I was dropping my song off. She was also dropping a song off to the same producer. We ran into each other accidentally and we just talk now. Yeah Alli is a lesbian. Winter is bi. Etc. most of my friends are lgbt. I basically told Winter that Alli already liked her. Which is true she does. And let's hope it goes well. A timer went off on my phone a few minutes later. Time to meet with Jack. A writer/producer I deal with most of the time for my music stuff. Since I was gonna be with Demi for a while in LA we were trying to figure out how I could keep writing different things for them and occasionally recording some. I record all of them so people know what it should sound like. I got up grabbing my phone and keys. "Where are you going Sierra?" I cringed at the use of my name "I have shit to do" to which Demi shook their head "I'm coming with you and you can't convince me otherwise" I sighed well they were gonna find out at some point weren't they. I nodded "get in the fucking car then" to which Demi got up walking to my car. My black sleek car. When we got in I connected my phone and said "alright we'll I don't really want you here because there are some things I haven't really told anyone. I may or may not right music for a label, your label" they looked surprised "for who or do you record?" I shook my head "I record enough so people know what it's supposed to sound like but I write for whoever. I've done some stuff for different rappers and one song in Halseys Maniac album I wrote and the rest? Idk where it all goes to most of the time. For all I know some of the things you sing could be songs by me. I write a lot so I forget about a lot of my songs." When I finished Demi asked "who do you work with. Because then I can tell you probably where most of your stuff goes artist wise" I nodded "Jack" and they nodded and explained who all probably had my music. Suprising, I know. When we got there I got out used to the whole paps thing. I walked over to Jack and said "my car as always?" To which he nodded and we walked back to my car. Sitting in he said "so Si. I see you brought Demi along? They know now?" I nodded. Then he began to talk "we have a studio in LA so you can record there. This isn't gonna be as hard sense Demi knows and they can take you etc. I'll miss you tho mister" he called me that sense when I met him apparently I looked like a boy from the back to he called me mister. I nodded "miss you too boy" which was a weird way of talking about him but I called him that because when someone says mister it sounds like someone is like a kid. Saying our goodbyes after a few more discussions and I drove home. Demi pestering me like a five year old the whole fucking way back. Eventually I stopped at a pretzel place. Same one Maddie and I had gone to, she got two big pretzels and I got a small bag of cinnamon pretzel bites and icing. It wasn't much but it was something. Not matter how slow I ate. Demi looked at me concerned. I was this close to breaking down. I shook my head but Demi wouldn't fucking look away. This would be a long few weeks. Maybe months with them. God when I got home I added more cuts to my wrist. The blood bubbled at the top satisfied me for a while. I cleaned them up and continued on with the hell that is my life.

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I hope you like where I'm going with this stuff. And if you don't. Oops. Anyhow ideas welcome. And votes comments and follows are greatly appreciated along with sharing this book. How do you feel about the name Silas? Enjoy the book loves. (Why the fuck did I say loves?) lol comment please also for anyone who watches marvel. When does Scarlet Witch come in? (Wanda/Elizabeth Olsen) thanks comment and all that shit

-Kayla