Fallen

Chapter 21. A quiet place [Michael]

Thick grey hair falls down to his shoulders in a tangled mess. Beard, untrimmed, and just as grey. His brown eyes, a dull color. They're lacking life as they did before when he had first shown his face. Yet, this time the orange tinge in his eyes is absent.

Right when I saw him, there had been no doubt who he was.

My father and I shared the same sharp features. He was an exact reflection of my face or mine to his. Although he always looked older, wiser. Miles of deep-set wrinkles would dance on his face whenever he spoke, glowered, or smiled.

I retain brief and sudden remembrances of what he was like back then. When I was smaller, merely a child, unaware of anything evil in my world.

There are scanty glimpses. My father hunched over a wooden table, a map on full display. Long nights spend worrying, developing new plans for a better future for me, for my mother. And for something else. That was until all of it went up in flames. His obligations died with him when the fire took him. His duty to uphold good turned into ashes just like he did.

But somehow, even through death, he found me. Or something else had.

The words he spouted back then were different from what I remembered him to be. Never would I have thought that he would promote such an idea. To run, hide. To abandon one's responsibilities. Whatever those obtained. And start anew.

I picture him again in front of me. He's looking at me. Standing by the edge, where the ground meets the still water. Posing in the same white drapes. White as the clouds.

Give up.

His words are loud. They cut like glass.

Don't fight it.

They get louder.

Give in to the cowardice in you.

They keep playing in my head. They won't stop.

I grasp my hair. Pulling at my roots. It's like all feeling is lost. I'm numb. Yet, there's a searing pain in my head. My hands trail down my face, still feelingless. I cover my ears. The last option of ending the pain. But the voice is still there. I wish for it to go away. To let me be.

"Please, just go away," I find myself begging quietly. It comes out wretched, pathetic.

There's a sound of protest. It's Caleb that makes the sound. The first in a while.

I can feel the softness of his palm on my shoulder. His touch is the one thing that exceeds the numbness. He guides me away from the pain and from the wrangled voice that is my father's. Instead, he's leading me back to him.

Everything had been so quiet before that. Both of us basking in the enchanting view of the pond. We had been sitting in silence for a while, not a word shared between us until now.

"I don't know how much my words mean to you. But I don't think you're a coward." He catches my eyes in his before he speaks. "We're going to face bumps along the way, just like this one. Doubt is going to seep in from time to time. But that shouldn't stop us, and not you. And no matter how much you want me to run from you. Well, I won't."

Caleb sits up further. Voice firm when he speaks, although his eyes fall down to the grass. Unsurely. It's not what I expected.

"You've been through a lot, like a crazy amount if you ask me. Don't let this be the end," He whispers the last words.

Since I woke up on his couch. I've been lost, on the verge of torment. Hopelessness creeping in on me. It's the thing I wake up to in the morning. The thing I fall asleep to at night. When you tell yourself something over and over again. You start to believe it. That there's no point. That it's not worth it. And when someone you trust voices those exact things. That's when it hits the worst.

It's dangerous. The way Caleb gives me hope. He's the one and only bright thing in a night filled with darkness.

I let my head rest on his shoulder. His arm wraps around my shoulder, pulling me further into his heat. His free hand tangles itself in my hair, playing with my locks, pulling at my roots. Then his fingertips start grazing my scalp lightly, calmy.

I close my eyes. Letting out a long and heavy sigh. Giving up the tension in my body. A weight leaves my shoulders. One that had been pulling me down for a while.

"I don't want you to get hurt," My heart pounds in my chest heavily. "What if you get hurt because of me?"

I can hear Caleb scoff from above me.

"I can protect myself. But I also have a big strong angel to look out for me. And I know you won't let anything bad happen to me. Not on purpose," He says it without difficulty. He believes it.

I look up at him.

"I would never let anything bad touch you," I reply.

I would never forgive myself if something did.

"That's all I can ask of you, and it's enough," Caleb returns, smiling down at me.

Time slips between my fingers. I place my head on his shoulder again. Taking in all of nature's sounds. Around us, the forest is slowly growing darker.

Suddenly, Caleb moves from beneath me. It shakes me out of my stupor.

"We should head back," He says, standing up from the log. "It's getting cold."

I follow along, standing up.

"You're shivering," I note. I can see the way he shivers slightly. I pull off the jacket that he gave me and hand it over. "Take it."

He shakes his head but reluctantly accepts it in the end. Putting it on hurriedly.

Before I can take a step in the direction that I remember I came from, Caleb slams into me. Arms wrapping around my neck. Enveloping me in his warmth. He squeezes me tightly. I return his hug just as tightly.

"Don't ever do that again," He states, poking me in the rib. "If there's something that troubles you, don't run from me. You can tell me anything."

"Okay," I reply.

He seems shocked that there is no protest. I might be a bit shocked too.

But Caleb's right. I might see that now, a little. Running away solves nothing.

"Good," He says.

Caleb takes my hand in his and starts dragging me along through the forest. Fallen leaves crunch under our feet.

We end up back at the small clearing. The house, coming into view.

Then things happen swiftly, almost in flashes. Caleb pushes me down on the couch. Draping blanket after blanket over me. Then there's a warm steaming cup in front of me. Filled to the brim with something sweet and liquid brown. I sip it slowly. Warmth taking over the once crawling cold.

Caleb falls down next to me. Head of bouncy curls resting on my shoulder, tiredly.

The stairs creak, then boom with each foot that stomps down the steps. We both look over to the noise. Lucy is standing by the bottom step. Her face set in an angry scowl.

"Where have you guys been? When I got home, both of you were gone.

I've been calling you a million-billion times," She says. Pointing to the two of us on the couch with a crooked finger. Her right eye twitches with anger.

Caleb and I give each other a knowing look.

"It's complicated," He replies. 

This entire week I've been struggling with writing, but damn it's really satisfying to finally be able to write words again, and words that make sense woohoo!

Btw, has anyone heard Troye Sivan's new song, Angel Baby? Because it kinda fits perfectly to this story, at least I feel like it does. But maybe that's just me hehe

Either way hope you enjoy and have a very very nice day :))

- Sofufff