Blood + Tears (all 15)

Chapter 26

At the crack of dawn, the beams of sunlight began to light the dark sky. The purple lightened to lighter shades of orange and pink as the yellow orb began to rise. The glow from the sun cast everything in a gold hue, and the warmth began to chase away the coolness, warming my face.

I stared out of my window. It was silent inside my room. Exhaustion weighed down my body. The lack of sleep was due to the turmoil in my mind. Luke and Kevin had already started to wiggle their way into my trust. And, damn, did they make me want to trust them so badly.

These men were dangerous. Everything about them seemed to seep into my thoughts when I'm unaware, but I knew that I didn't belong in a palace like this. I don't belong where people act nicely behind a smile, waiting for one to mess up. I once was imprisoned in a place that never accepted me and being accepted here made me want more.

Amara, I spoke to my shifter. What should I do?

Purple eyes looked at me in understanding. Sang, you belong with them.

I frowned. Belong? I don't know that word. The only time I felt like that was when I escaped to the forest. That place was my home, and I wasn't sure I wanted to stay here.

I don't know if I belong, I murmured.

Amara sighed. You can if you open your heart to them. Remember, I'm always on your side.

A knock of the door interrupted my conversation with Amara. My door creaked open, and Nathan opened my door with a wide smile on his face. "Good morning, Peanut. Rise and shi- geez, you look like death."

"What happened?" He spoke with such a concerned voice that I blinked at him in muted surprise.

"Stuff." I could see him thinking, but I didn't really care. I was tired. So tired, yet I knew that I couldn't take a rest. If I did, I would be tempted to just stay there forever, ignoring everything because I knew that Amara could take care of it.

"Is it about Kearn and Luke?" Nathan asked but I shrugged slightly. "We already know. We don't really mind Luke going into the Rest." He went silent when I didn't respond. The air between us grew awkward, and he fidgeted. "Breakfast is almost ready. I think everyone is getting ready for school. We'll see you in a bit?"

I nodded, and a few moments passed before he spoke again. "Sang, are you okay?"

"Yeah." I spoke and frowned. It sounded so unlike myself. "Just tired."

Nathan hesitated before stepping back and closing the door. When he disappeared, I took that moment to crawl out of bed. These men were making me want to fall into their arms for comfort.

I quickly took a shower. I glanced at the mirror and smiled in satisfaction when the red in my eyes wasn't so prominent. Karen quickly dried my hair with her wind magic and pulled it back to a simple yet elegant looking twisted ponytail. Once I was in my uniform, I made my way towards the dining room. The fifteen men were inside, talking a bit muted unlike other days. It might have been Kearn instead of Luke eating with them or it might have been what Kearn said about our conversation.

When I went to get some food, fingers gently brushed against my arm. Glancing up, I was met with Luke's features with black hair that was pulled back into a half ponytail and midnight blue eyes. I knew it wasn't luke who was with me but Kearn. "Was last night...?"

I shook my head. He seemed worried that he had crossed a line. "No. No, last night is not why I'm in this mood. I get like this sometimes. I just need to get some sleep. I'll be back to normal tomorrow."

His eyes narrowed, and his lips turned downward slightly into a frown. "You make it sound that you're forcing yourself to be whatever this is."

Sighing, I tilted my head back to look out the window, knowing that the others were trying to distract themselves from eavesdropping. "Sometimes, it is. Right now, I'm tired of who I am. I sometimes ask myself if it's worth it."