Not Today | ✔️

Chapter Forty Six.

"...time put a rope around my head
And hung from the rafters of my fear, dark in the eyes
Try and face the world, I can't bear to
My knees hit the ground and my hands start shakin'..."

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Evelyn could do this. She was badass, right? Like, in a sort of subtle, not obvious way, but still badass.

She could do this. She could do this. She could do this.

...Evelyn definitely couldn't do this.

Unless she could?

But no, it wasn't going to happen. Not in this life, not in the next. Maybe in her third life. Three lifetimes was enough to gather a little courage, right?

Unless she died prematurely.

So maybe four lifetimes, just to be safe.

At least, that was what she told herself as she walked up the steps towards Tristan's dad's house, where his Aunt Georgia said Tristan went to get some of his belongings.

That was what she told herself all the way up until the moment she rang the doorbell, having gone too far to back out now. Ha! Badass. It didn't even take two lifetimes for her to do that.

The pride faded quickly as Tristan's father opened the door. Why didn't she ever think anything through?

"Mr. Montgomery," Evelyn said with a tight smile. "Is Tristan here?"

"You're Evelyn Sable, right?" he said, squinting his eyes slightly, not answering her question. "I know you, you're a good student."

Part of Evelyn wanted to tell him she knew him, too, but she just nodded her head.

"He's not here," he said and Evelyn parted her lips, ready to thank him and leave, but he had other ideas. "I heard about you two breaking up. That was the right decision, Evelyn. You're smart and have a very bright future. My son would only bring you down."

"Excuse me?" she said, blinking rapidly. She couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"It may seem like a good idea now, because you're both in high school, but I doubt he could even get into a college worth two cents, let alone make something of himself. But you volunteer, your grades are perfect, and you're polite. Trust me, don't get involved with him again."

Evelyn didn't just feel angry as she looked at the man.

She was pissed the fuck off.

"You're very good at your job, Mr. Montgomery."

"Well, thank you," he said with a proud smile.

"It would be a real shame if something were to happen to it, wouldn't it?"

"What?" he asked, the color draining from his face.

"I mean, assault is already a crime, but assaulting your son, one of your students? You'd never find a job in education ever again."

"Excuse me?" he said, blinking rapidly.

"Did you know my uncle is a police officer, Mr. Montgomery? One little phone call from his favorite niece about how you're an abusive piece of shit and you'll be in cuffs quicker than you can blink."

"Are you... are you threatening me?" he asked in disbelief.

She smiled. "Why? Are you afraid? Threats only work when there's some truth to them."

"I'd like you to leave," he said with a glare.

"And I'd like you to listen to what I have to say, because you should've been told this a long time ago," she continued. "Not everyone needs to go to college to make something of themselves. You went to one of those colleges-how did you put it? Worth more than two cents? And look at how you turned out."

"You have no idea what you're talking about."

"What I know is that Tristan is the single most important thing your wife left behind and you took your anger at the world out on him. What I know is that you can't measure Tristan's worth in manners or grades or volunteering, because he's worth so much more. What I know, Mr. Montgomery, is that if your wife is looking down on you, it's not in pride and it's not in love. It's in shame."

With that, Evelyn turned and left. It wasn't until she'd put some distance between herself and the house that she felt like she could breathe again. The fire of her anger had kept her warm, but the cold hit her twice as hard now. She didn't enjoy confrontation, but what she disliked even more were terrible people, and Tristan's father was one.

She barely realized where her feet were taking her until she ended up at the park close to Tristan's house, the one his mom took him to as a child, the one he took her to. Her steady heartbeat fluttered and her purposeful walk faltered as she saw a familiar figure sitting in the swing. Evelyn was cold wearing a sweater and a coat, so she couldn't imagine how cold Tristan was, sitting in only a white sweatshirt.

His cheek was pressed against the chain of the swing and his eyes were downcast, focused on his shoes, which were drawing patterns in the mulch. Her heart constricted at how sad he looked. She began to walk forward again and his eyes snapped up, widening when they realized it was her.

At first, she didn't say anything and neither did he. She just sat on the swing next to him and clutched the swing's chains.

"How did you know I was here?" he asked softly.

"I didn't," she said with a shrug. "I went to your dad's house, but you weren't there, and I guess I kind of ended up here."

"You went to my dad's house?" he asked, panic lacing his tone.

She nodded. "He's kind of a dick."

Tristan's eyes widened and a surprised laugh left his lips. "I'd never imagined a day where Evelyn Sable would call anyone a dick."

"But here we are," she joked with a playful smile.

"Here we are," he murmured, his tone becoming more serious as he stared at her.

Evelyn had come to see Tristan in order to try and get some clarity on his relationship with Tanya, but as she looked at him, she knew it was the wrong time.

"Where's your stuff?" she asked, breaking the silence.

"What?"

"Your aunt said you came here to get some of your stuff from your dad's home."

"Oh," he said, as if he'd forgotten. "That was a lie."

"Why did you lie?" she asked, only to be meant with silence. She looked at him, but he was staring at the ground, his hair covering his forehead. "Tristan?"

The use of his name made him look up and she saw his eyes were reddened as they filled with tears.

"I just wanted to see how he was doing," he said, his voice cracking as a single tear slid down his cheek. "I know it's hardest for him around this time, so I just... Fuck, I'm always so stupid."

She stood, frowning. "That's not true, Tristan, you--"

Tristan stood abruptly, cutting her off with a sharp inhale. "I think I have to be alone right now, Evelyn. I don't know how to... I just..." he tried to continue, but kept tripping over his words, as if he couldn't get his thoughts to turn into sentences, before he let out a frustrated sort of sound and walked away from her.

Evelyn was left standing there, staring at her shoes as she wondered if she'd made a mistake by trying to be his friend again, but then she saw him walking towards her. His expression was absolutely heartbroken, but he still managed a small smile, just for her, before he leaned forward, pressing a sweet kiss to her forehead.

"I'm not running," he said quietly. "I want to talk to you and to fix my mistakes, but I just don't have the energy today," he said with a sigh, leaning his forehead against hers slightly, closing his eyes. "I just don't have any energy."

"Why not?" she asked softly.

"Tomorrow is the anniversary of my mom's death," he said quietly, letting out a small breath. "I know it's been eight years, but it hurts just the same every time it comes around. I'm just tired today, Evelyn, but it has nothing to do with you."

Evelyn opened her mouth to speak, but no words seemed fitting, and by the time she'd begun to order the messiness in her mind, he was already walking away from her.