wilbur soot + reader

anger ..

- writer's note - hi ! i'm going to start adding dates/times so these make more sense :) -

TW - mentions of s/h, s/h thoughts, mentions of ed, drug use

Saturday, 8:00pm, 5 days till graduation

i'm sat on my bed, knees into my chest, arms wrapped around them and my eyes staring out my window, watching as the raindrops "raced" to the bottom of the window, "hey honey" my Mum walks into my room with a concerned smile, "hey" i sigh. Mum sits down on the end of my bed and exhales, "i think we need to talk" she said .. my heart fell into my stomach as i kept thinking of all the things i've done without her knowing and how i could possibly be about to have my ass beaten, "i'm worried about your mental health" she sighs, "not today Mum" i groan and put my head into my hands, running them through my hair, "i want you to start going to therapy" she continues, "what ?! fuck that" i shout, "y/n language." she huffs at me, "you haven't been out of your room for 3 days" she pauses, "have you been eating ?" she leans closer toward me to ask.

my Mum walks out of my bedroom, leaving me a crying mess on my bed, tears falling onto my blanket that was covering the cuts on my thighs.

-

Karl :]

hey, how's things ?

11:11pm

You

shit.

11:13pm

Karl :]

wanna meet at our spot ? :)

11:14pm

You

i don't feel like going anywhere .. but you can come to mine

11:15pm

sounds good. see you soon :)

11:15pm

read by You

-

it's officially been 4 hours since i opened up to my Mum about my eating disorder. she didn't take it well, but she promises to give me the best advice she can when i need it .. which meant a lot because i know she's only trying to help.

11:31pm

i hear the front door knob rattle and quickly jump out of bed and run to the foyer, "hey" i whisper, hugging Karl tightly, he hugs me back and we tip-toe into my bedroom. Karl sits in my knitted hanging chair while i sit on my bed, "so what's been going on ? you haven't been at school since Wednesday" Karl sighs, sounding worried in the second part, "i can't do this anymore Karl" i begin crying, "what ? what are you on about y/n ?!" Karl asks and runs to sit next to me on my bed, wrapping an arm around me for comfort. after a minute or two i finally lift my head up and wipe my eyes, "i haven't been handling the breakup with Wil all that well" i pause and sniffle, "and then Sapnap is just making it worse !!", Karl held me tighter, "what did Sapnap do ?" he asks, "he keeps pressuring me to make things official with him and i can't ! not yet" i sob, "y/n i think Sapnap likes you a lot and he doesn't wanna' lose you to Wilbur .. and now that you're broken up-" i interrupt Karl, "-i like him too Karl ! but Wilbur was my boyfriend and it's all my fault that things ended" i cry into Karl's chest as he rubs my back for comfort, "shh shh shh".

-

Sunday, 10:31am, 4 days till graduation

i yawn as i wake up and rub my eyes. i reach for my phone to see multiple messages from Wilbur, my heart skipped a few beats and i quickly tapped each one to read them,

Wilbur <33

hey .. we should talk

9:30am

Karl told me about last night

9:31am

he didn't tell me much .. just about your eating.

9:31am

text me when you see these

9:35am

You

hey, can i come to your place today ? that would make this easier

10:34am

Wilbur <33

of course :)

10:35am

read by You

-

5:00pm

i park my car outside Wilbur's (his parents obviously) and take a few deep breaths before stepping out of my car and walking toward the front door. knock knock. a tall, brown and fluffy haired boy answers the door, "hey" he smiles, "hi" i smile back.

"i can't decide Wilbur ! you can't make me choose !!" i cry, "i can't live a life like this y/n ! i want to be with you without any distractions" Wilbur pauses, "and if that can't happen than i can't ever see you again" he stops. i stare at him in shock and sadness .. maybe even with a bit of anger, Wilbur just stared down at his hands, fiddling with his fingers. "Wilbur please don't be like this" i sigh, breaking the silence, "y/n i want to be with you .. but not with the chance of Sapnap getting in the way" he slumps his head down again, "i cannot believe you" i huff and stand up from his bed, storming out of his bedroom, then his front door.

-

Wilbur POV

(after you left) i stare down at my fingers, they're skinny and boney like the rest of my body .. that's what my parents say anyway. "ouch" i yelp, watching as a new line becomes visible on my wrist, then another .. another. i wipe my eyes and stand up from my bed, throwing the razor blade into my underwear drawer before laying back onto my bed and letting y/n fill my head .. i wanted to be with them, really. but i couldn't if i wasn't 100% convinced that Sapnap was out of the picture.

-

Your POV

6:53pm

i park my car in the gutter before getting out and walking toward his front door, knocking several times before somebody answers, "y/n ?" Sapnap asks with a confused look across his face, "Sapnap we can't do this anymore" i say as tears begin forming in my eyes, "we can't do what ?" he asks worried, "i can't see you anymore, not secretly, not dating, not ever" i sob as Sapnap wraps his arms around me, "i get it" he sighs and hugs me tighter.

"best of luck for your college !" i smile, hiding the tears i was fighting, as i get into my car again, "same goes for you !" he laughs, even though i could see how much i had just hurt him. did i even make the right choice ? do i want to be with Wilbur forever ?  i think to myself while i drive home to cry out all my feelings and take the pain out on myself.

-

Sapnap POV

"FUCK" i scream into my pillow, "YOU FUCKING BITCH" i scream again, throat aching from all the crying i was doing. i couldn't contain my anger and sadness, i had to get rid of them somehow. "ow ! jesus christ" i yelp, gripping my knuckles that changed from white to red, "Sapnap what's that noise ?!" my Mum storms into my bedroom and her jaw drops as she eyes the huge whole in my wall, "what happened ?!" she yells, "Mum i'm sorry i can pay for it please just give me some space" i stutter, hiding the tears that were brimming my eyes, "yeah you bet your ass you're paying for it" she scoffs, slamming my bedroom door before walking away.

i sigh and flop onto my bed, pulling my vape out from my jeans pocket and taking a few hits before falling asleep in a puddle of my own tears.