Self Destruction

Mr. Lonely

I missed about 2 weeks of work before deciding that enough was enough and I was not going to let him make me feel like garbage. I was determined to quit so I decided to turn in my two weeks notice that day. 

I walk into the office and but no one asks me how I am doing, no one says anything. I sit in the copy room again.  "Dory your back," Oliver says as he walks into my office. "Mr. Warner," I reply and he nods. It was as if we had never slept together as if that magical weekend never happened. He looked at me the same way he did before that weekend before he came to my apartment and made me feel things with his hands. I stare blankly at my computer screen not wanting to look at him any longer. 

"Bring me the trial briefs after lunch so I can review," he said and I nod still looking at my computer screen.  I decided I didn't want to see him after lunch so I pick up the trial briefs and walk into his office. He was there with Natasha she was kissing him. He looked at me and I looked at him and I could have sworn he looked shocked that I saw him but it went away in a second. 

I felt horrible, was this his girlfriend? I could feel Natasha eyeing me. Could see right through me? does she know that we were together for the weekend? I felt like the worse woman in the world. Women are supposed to look out for each other not destroy each other. 

I looked at him uncomfortably and place the files on his desk. I leave without another word.  I wish I could take it all away I wish I could have said no to him when he brought me to his cabin. 

"Hey Rosie," Ryan says. I look up at him and to my surprise, he looks sad. "Are you okay?" I ask. "Yeah no I am not okay," he says with a sad voice. "I had a death in the family so I was not able to prepare any of the petitions that I need," he says. "I am so behind on work and I just I don't know what to do," he sighs. "I can help," I offer. "I am really sorry for your loss," I tell him. I felt really bad for what he was going through that I offered to do the work for him and he smiled. "Thanks, Rosie you're my hero, honestly all I need are a few files to be organized," he says and I blush. 

Ryan had a hearing around 2 p.m. so that gave me enough time to go into his office and get his work done for him. I really did feel bad for him. His office was big with windows along the walls from floor to ceiling. His office smelled of cinnamon. 

He had endless stacks of papers all over his desk and about  6 files which surprised me because Breana is his personal assistant.   

"What are you doing here?" Breana asked as I sit and organize the files that Ryan had asked me to organize.  "Umm Ryan asked me to organize a few files for him," I say as softly as possible. I thought she would be upset because after all, this is her work. Instead, she crosses her arms and smiles. "Well if that's what Ryan asked who am I to say otherwise," she continues to smile. "Let me know when the files are ready," she says. "Oh and Rosey I am having a girls' night on Saturday you are welcome to come," she smiles again only this time her smile was bigger than the one before. "Thank you," I say confused by her invitation. 

"Fat Cinderella," she says but I probably didn't hear right. "Excuse me?" "Nothing," she smiles and turns around and leaves flipping her hair. Did she really just call me that and if she did how on earth did she know only my family calls me that. 

I decide not to think much about it and sit down on Ryans' chair to organize his files. Yes I know I complained before that I should not be doing this but Ryan asked me and he's been very nice to me lately. 

This organization of files took about 2 hours and by the time I was done Ryan was already entering his office. "Rosie I didn't think you were going to work on this today," he said. "I actually finished them," I say happily. "Thank you," he said sitting down across from me. He looks stressed out. 

"Is everything okay?" I asked and he runs his hand through his perfect hair. "Just stressed with everything going on, with my grandmother's funeral and work," he signed. So it was his grandmother that passed away, I would go crazy if my granny passed away. "I'm really sorry about your grandmother," I say and I give him an encouraging smile. He nods and then he sighs again this time with more feeling as if he had been holding his breath. 

"Are you busy later?" he asks me and I stop and think. "Not really why?" I asked because he probably needs more help with work and well since he's dealing with his grandmother's passing I don't mind helping him. 

"Well if you're not too busy would you like to go to dinner with me tonight," he asked. Red flag my inner self says, why on earth would Ryan Stewart want to go have dinner with me. I guess he saw my confused look because he quickly tries to change his words. "What I meant is we are all going for dinner and it would be nice if you joined us," he says. "Umm sure okay," not knowing why on earth I even agreed to go. The last time I went I was so uncomfortable I just wanted to leave the moment I had sat down. 

I make a mental note to order a salad. "To be honest with you I don't think I fit in with this crowd," I say what I have always thought out loud for the first time ever. "Why do you say that," Ryan asks and puts both elbows on his desk and clasped his hands together moving closer to me.  "Isn't it obvious?" I respond. "All of you are just short of perfection and I'm well me," I say looking down. 

"Looks can be deceiving," he says. "Just because someone looks a certain way doesn't mean their life is perfect," "and just because you look different doesn't mean that we are not all the same in some ways," at this I look up and smile. "You are right but I am the only one like me here and it gets lonely sometimes," I didn't know why I was telling him all of this or how the hell this conversation took this turn. "Well then I guess you know know that I am lonely too sometimes in fact some might call me Mr. Lonely," he laughs.  

He puts his hand on my folded hands and then the door opens. I turned to look at Oliver standing there he had not even bothered to knock. "What are you doing in here?" he asks me. "I was just," I began to say but Ryan interrupts. "She was just helping me organize some of my files. I stand up to leave since all the files are done and I see no harm in it. "Well she should be taking care of her own duties, why isn't Breanna taking care of it after all she's your assistant," he says angrily. 

Why was he acting this way? "It's fine I will go and finish my work now," I say. I waited to see if he would leave but he just stood there. "Rosie go to your office and get your work done," he says and all I do is stare at him "and please close the door on your way out I need to talk to Ryan in private," he said and without another word, I leave closing the door behind me and all I can hear is Oliver saying to Ryan. "What the fuck!"