Self Destruction

Desire

I check on my elderly neighbors, I was notified by Josh the caretaker that Mrs. Sue from Apartment 9 suffered a heart attack. "Oh no," I say to him. Poor Ms. Sue I never really knew her but every time she would see me she would say hi. It's probably 11 p.m. and all I can think about is sleep. I get ready for bed and pray that tomorrow is a productive day for me.

I wake up to Licorice playing with my hair. He can be sweet when he wants to. I prepare myself for a long day at work. I always try and dress mature but end up dressing like an old lady according to my coworkers.

Today I decide on a black knee-length dress, black tights, black flats, and a light pink long sleeve cardigan with buttons that go down on both sides. I brush my messy hair and place it back on both sides with bobby pins I do not wear makeup just chapstick no not because I want to be like those girls in YA novels "shes not like every other girl she doesn't wear makeup crap" no it's only because I don't know how to do makeup. 

I arrive to work about 30 minutes early, I need to go through his voicemail and make sure I call everyone back for him. This is not a task that I am assigned to do I just want to be helpful, I tell myself every time I check his voicemails. I also make him a cup of freshly made coffee and leave him his favorite grape jelly-filled doughnut. I finish taking his messages down and create a list for him with calls he should take care of and return to my office next to the copy room.

I have the smallest office here with a small window, it only fits a desk, a chair, a guest chair, and my computer. I also have a small shelf. This office was once used for old files and I use to have a small cubical. Since we are paperless now I get my own little office.

I sit in my office and check my emails, there are 65 today. I get to work right away. The office door opens and I see him walk to his office as he passes mine. "Good Morning Mr. Warner," I say standing up cheerfully. He passes by me ignoring my presence like always looking down at his phone. I sit back down feeling very stupid. Hoping he appreciates the coffee and the doughnut I continue my work.

Currently, I am transcribing dictation for Mr. Warner for a criminal case against a man who murdered his wife while on vacation and claimed self-defense. The man was angry because a man smiled at his wife at a grocery store and accused her of cheating, killed her, and left her body in the hotel they were staying at.

 Brianna, Sophie, Amelia, & Jasmine walk through the door. They always make me feel insecure, I am pretty sure that in any room they walk in they are intimidating. "Good Morning Grunt," one of them says. "Excuse me?" I say angrily. "I said good morning," Sophie says. "That's not what I heard," I respond. "You called me a grunt," "No I didn't Rosey," she says pretending to be shocked. 

"Good Morning ladies," Oliver says as he walks over to them. "Is there a problem?" he asks. "Not at all," I say fake smiling. "Nice dress," Sophie says looking at me up and down with a smirk, I look down at my dress feeling uncomfortable, "Thanks," I say even though I know they are making fun of me. I didn't care and I sure as heck was not about to tell Oliver that they were making fun of me because I am sure he won't believe me. 

 "Rony can you please get me and the ladies a coffee we have a meeting," "It's Rosie," I say fake smiling again, and "Sure right away." We were all hired as legal assistants but since they are law students they are allowed in the conference room. After I give them the coffee I sit at my computer and continue to listen to the dictation.

It's not just the women that get a kick out of making fun of me. Them men do as well. I look over at the three but they don't notice me looking at them. James is tall, dark, and handsome with curly dark hair. Ryan is a light-skinned, babyfaced yet attractive guy with messy brown hair. Adam is tall and attractive and is more built than the other two. "Good morning," I say as they make their way to the conference room they look my way and nod. Yes, I say mentally this time they looked at me. The three of them are attorneys here. I take them coffee and return to my dictation.