sinners and saints

an abandoned warehouse and a chick.

"i'm starting to learn i may never be free."

the man in front of you fell to his knees, leaning down as he gripped your ankles. it was totally weird, but you understood in some strange way. his wife kneeled next to him, tears streaming out of her eyes, hand rubbing his back in some attempt to comfort her husband. between his sobs, you could hear him mumbling out 'thank you's and other things that you couldn't make out. you turned your head to mikey and draken, motioning for them to leave. draken nodded, mikey just stared at you. he constantly found himself drawn to the look in your eyes. it was strange to him, and no matter what he did he couldn't figure out what he was feeling, or why.

admiration. you were good, and he admired that.

it was like he was frozen in place, but thankfully draken dragged him out of there. you couldn't help but join the couple on the floor, reaching out to take the woman's hand. she graciously accepted it, her fingers were digging into the back of your hand, but that was okay. maybe this was some compassion you felt, given your experience in this situation. you constantly visited sick orphans, of course you had gone through this before. it was terrible. and for their sake, you prayed that their daughter would be okay.

deliah would be proud, wouldn't she?

after a bit more sobbing, the couple had finally calmes down, at least enough to thank you properly. "i- thought we'd never be able to.. you, you've given us hope. thank you. thank you so much." you smiled, patting his shoulder awkwardly. "it's no trouble. i should be taking my leave now, but you have my phone number if you need anything." they nodded, muttering out even more thanks. sometimes, when you were sad, when everything was going wrong, the only way to make yourself feel better was to make someone else feel like things were going right.

_______________________________________________

"takemichi, if you're gonna drag me around like this, at least tell me where you're taking me." he was pulling you along, his grip on your wrist was much too tight. "we're going to meet mikey and draken." that was apparently all the context you were going to get. now, you were being dragged into some creepy abandoned warehouse. you might be getting murdered. "hm? takemitchy, n/n? what's up?" great, not only did you not know why you were here, but no one else did either. "we're in the middle of an important discussion." draken always had that stupid serious tone, if you didn't know any better, you might be a bit scared.

"tsk, you again." "fuck off, shit-heads!" well, pachin and peyan hadn't changed. "can you.. stop the conflict? the fight, between you and mobius?" okay, what the fuck. "what? we can't, why'd you drag me along with you if that's what you wanted?!" his fists were clenched, you weren't sure how to react. "look, i can't say why, but someone's pulling the strings behind all of this! we can't-" takemichi was cut off by pachin grabbing the back of his head, using his hair to throw the blonde onto the floor. you knew what he was going to do, but in all honesty you were kinda pissed at takemichi, so you'd give pah free will.

"you better stop messin' with us, bitch." peh sure ran his mouth a lot, that much you were sure of. "leave. say one more fucking word and i'll kill you." you didn't like your emotions. you cared about takemichi a lot, but you were angry at him, and suddenly watching him get killed didn't seem so bad. you knew he didn't have bad intentions, yet your emotions were still so fucked. maybe you should smash a glass bottle over your head or something. "anyways, how should we go about attacking mobius?" takemichi apparently wasn't very good at shutting the fuck up. "you can't! if you fight with mobius, toman's going to get screwed!"

pah was quick to bend down, demanding that takemichi stood up. as he did, pachin punched him. over and over. and over. and over. "we can't fight. you can't tell us why. even though those bitches beat up my friend? raped his girlfriend? drained their families? and you're telling me we can't fucking fight?" he was your cousin, and you were watching him get beat up. yet you didn't care. sighing, you walked over to where mikey was sitting, taking a seat next to him. he stared at you, blinking. "..what?" he didn't say anything, but he did move so he was sitting on the floor instead. he shuffled, so he was sitting directly in front of your legs. okay, now you were kind of confused. he was still watching as pah beat up takemichi, then he grabbed your ankles.

before you could even ask what he was doing, he was suddenly sitting between your legs, not even acting like it was weird, just continuing to watch the two fighting. your legs were thrown over either of his shoulders, and you were certainly grateful he wasn't actually facing you. one of his arms was slightly wrapped around your thigh, while his head rested on it. this was strange, and you were still confused. "takemitchy. i get what you're saying, but we're still going to fight mobius. i decided that we were going to fight, so that's what toman's gonna do." in response, your cousin dropped to his knees, bowing. "i won't back down! if we fight mobius, we're done for! just when i became friends with draken and mikey, i can't let toman end this way."

maybe he had some bad dream that made him all paranoid, or maybe he was just crazy. "you really are an idiot.." just as pah was going to hit takemichi again, draken stopped him. "takemitchy's not backing down. maybe it's not such a bad idea to see what mobius is up to." mikey's grip on your leg tightened, was he mad? "kenchin. are you.. defying toman?" draken turned to the mikey, you felt out of place. "that's not what i'm doing." well, this was awkward. "yeah, it is." you were stuck between awkwardly coughing to disrupt the tense silence, but someone else interrupted instead. "sorry to interrupt your little group implosion, but you keep mentioning mobius. i think it's best to keep our name out've your damn mouths." oh.

this was him, this was the asshole who thought he could get away with raping someone. you were positive mikey could feel you tense up, your knuckles were probably turning white with how tight your fists were clenched. "you.. you bastard!" pah looked angrier than usual, understandable enough. "ay, i'm two years older than you. that's mister bastard to you." pachin practically growled, running towards osanai, attempting to punch him. but, osanai dodged it, and pah was the one who ended up getting punched. the high schooler laughed, you hated him. you'd kill him, you'd shove that stupid cigarette down his throat. "yup, nothin' but a middle-schooler." peyan cried out for pah, but it's not like that did anything.

you tried to stand, but mikey pulled you down, patting your thigh. did he know you'd get mad like this? is that why he suddenly started using you as some back rest? "let me go, mikey. i can't jus-" he cut you off. "don't worry, please? have a little faith in pah." you weren't worried. no, you just wanted to hurt him. you didn't want to watch pah, or draken, or mikey, or anyone beat osanai up. no, you wanted to do it. "tokyo manji gang? i think middle school infants is a better name for you. 'heard you were pickin' a fight with mobius." he snapped, and about fifty men in white outfits walked in. some had weapons, others just had their fists balled. "so, we'll take initiative." osanai's head snapped towards you and mikey. "oh? didn't know you had a chick with you." again, mikey's grip on you tightened. you glared at osanai, when was the last time you were this angry?

"ah, so we get to kick some middle school ass, and fuck their chick too, huh? jeez, what are you, fifteen? you gotta be real tight. maybe if you're good-" you cut him off, you wouldn't let him continue. "shut up." rage, that's what you were feeling. the desperate urge to peel your face off, to stab osanai over and over again, to crush his ugly ass face in. "heh, you certainly go a mouth on ya, huh? trust me, we'll put it to good use-"

"how can you stand so tall like that? can you.. really not see how pathetic you are.? what.. does sticking your dick into whatever you see fit make you feel good? is your masculinity really that fragile? i mean, what would your mother think of this? if i had to live knowing that i brought something like you into the world, i don't think i'd be able to live with myself. can you even look yourself in the mirror? i mean, how could you? why? why were you even born?" you saw him snarl at you, his douche-y grin left his face. before he could fire anything back, mikey stood up. "enough." he walked, standing about two feet away from osanai, looking up at him. "so, you brought all the people.. just to ambush a couple middle-schoolers? you're just as shitty as i thought you'd be, osanai."

"huhh?! couldn't hear ya, you're too shrimpy!" it wasn't even a good comeback, yet still, all the mobius members burst into a fit of laughter. pathetic. "hey. who the fuck are you looking at?" now, he was talking to takemichi, who was apparently staring. osanai's fist met with takemichi's face. "you were lookin' down on me, weren't you?!" before he could hit him again, his arm was caught by pachins.

"your fight is with me."

a/n: hi !! so , f/n clearly has a strong form of anger , and that's for a reason !! i have bpd , or emotional disregulation , which pretty much is just where all of your emotions r totally fucked up . like the part where she said she hated her emotions , or how she was fine w/ takemichi getting hurt just because she was mad , that's stuff i face a lot !! i'm sorry if you don't feel like this , but it's easier to write a character's emotion when you feel them :)