Not a Fan (Wilbur Soot)

Feeling

Aurora opened her heavy eyes slowly as the morning sunrise poured through her windows. She made a mental note that she really needed to buy curtains. 

Her head was aching, her eyes were still swollen, and her throat felt hoarse and dry. Aurora brought up a hand to shield her eyes from the stark morning light, a smile on her face as she remembered what she felt yesterday. 

"One more day until my furniture comes, one more day until I start work. Just one more day until everything falls into place." Her voice cracked several times as she said her morning thoughts aloud, sitting up on her bed. 

She stood slowly, pulling the comforter back into place before leaving her room. She made her way downstairs, starting up her kettle, and placing the takeout that sat out overnight into the trash. The sun was already beginning to hide behind the clouds as it raised higher in the sky, only peaking out occasionally now. 

She made her way to the bathroom, splashing her face with cold water to soothe her swollen eyes before brushing her teeth. She decided to put her hair in a bun today, getting it out of her face for the first time in a while. Her hair had become a security blanket- if she was going to cut it soon she would need to get used to seeing her face again.

She preferred the mornings, she always felt comfort in their silence. Aurora looked around her kitchen, debating what to fix for breakfast. An idea struck as she pulled several items out of her pantry. She starting mixing the ingredients as she sipped her tea, the sound of the wind picking up outside pushing against her window- promising rain would soon come. 

Aurora pulled the last batch of scones out of the oven, one from an earlier batch still hanging out of her mouth. She placed a few of the cooled scones in a bag before writing a note. 

You boys should eat something other than cookies - Rori

She slid on her slippers, heading out the door with the bag in hand. Just as she was about to knock, the door to 608B swung open, Wilbur standing on the other side. Aurora looked up to him, her arm still raised. He blinked several times, clearly just as shocked to see her outside his door. The morning had been so quiet, she assumed they all must've still been asleep. Needless to say, she was not prepared to bump into them. 

"Um, good morning." She finally let out, lowering her hand back to her side. She was regretting wearing her hair up and not changing out of the same baggy pajamas that she had had on the night prior. 

"Good morning." Wilbur said quietly, looking quickly over his shoulder to maroon and yellow who stood, also wide eyed, behind him. "Were we too loud?" Wilbur asked quickly, looking back to Aurora. 

"No! No, not at all. I actually didn't even think you guys were awake yet. I just wanted to, um." She trailed off, feeling unbelievably embarrassed for what she was about to say. She let out a quick sigh before pulling up the bag of scones between her an Wilbur. "I just wanted to bring you guys these, for breakfast or whatever." She continued, using her free hand to rub the back of her neck, refusing to look at any of them. 

"You brought us breakfast?" Wilbur asked softly, taking the bag out of Aurora's hand. 

"Yeah, I made too many anyway. I also thought it could double as an apology for yelling at maroon- I mean, the, uh, blonde one." She looked up after her slip, looking around Wilbur to the two boys behind him. The blonde was shorter than Wilbur, but not by much. The brunette was much shorter, just barely taller than her. 

"Wait, is maroon me? Is my voice red?" Maroon asked with a smile, nudging Wilbur. Aurora stayed stone faced, somehow feeling uncomfortable hearing that other's knew about how she sees them. She felt silly for being embarrassed when she had openly talked about it on Niki's stream in front of thousands of people, but hearing someone in person ask her about it was different. 

"Yeah, your voice is a dark maroon and his voice is a bright yellow." Aurora answered, looking to the shorter brunette before returning her eyes back to Wilbur. 

"You don't have to pay them any mind. Their names are Tom and Toby by the way." Wilbur spoke, pointing to each boy. "Thank you for the breakfast, we're on our way out for the day so it should be quiet for you." Wilbur said with a soft smile, looking at the bag to see a few scones for each of them inside. 

"He's going to take us to the studio to listen to his band practice! He's a musician you know." Yellow- Toby, interjected from behind, leaning his head around Wilbur's shoulder. 

Aurora blinked several times, watching as Wilbur nudged Toby away. Tom had also started snickering a bit. 

"You're a musician?" She finally asked. She had heard him playing guitar and singing through the walls a couple times, but she didn't realize that was his job. Wilbur furrowed his brows, sighing, before looking over his shoulder at the two boys. Aurora could only assume he gave them a powerful glare as they both instantly stopped laughing and stood up straight. 

"Yeah, I am." Wilbur spoke through a defeated huff, turning to give her a forced smile. Aurora wasn't sure where the tension came from. She had been open with him that she was an artist, she didn't understand why it was so hard for him to share that he was too. 

"That's great. Maybe I can hear you play something that isn't through the walls sometime." She pitched, hoping to alleviate the uncomfortable atmosphere. Her attempt was in vain as Wilbur was unsuccessful in hiding a slight cringe. 

"Or not?" She questioned, beginning to step back, looking over to her apartment's door that was still open. 

"Why don't you come with us to the studio?" Tom pitched, grabbing Wilbur's shoulder roughly. 

"No!" 

"I don't think so." 

Wilbur and Aurora spoke in unison, looking back to each other. Wilbur's face was unreadable, making Aurora feel all the more uneasy. 

"I should really be getting back inside now. I, um, hope you like the scones and, uh, have a good time in the studio." Aurora said while walking back over to her apartment. She wasn't sure how yesterday could have been so great and today, less than twelve hours later, was a complete disappointment. 

"Thank you!" She heard Wilbur call out as she entered her doorway. She leaned back to see a half smile on his face, his forehead still tensed, with his hand held up in a stagnant wave. She nodded to him, stepping inside and closing the door behind her. 

Feeling again was something she had been desperate for. If she had been taking her Prozac, this entire morning would've been a half-numb conversation with a few awkward pauses. Now she was overthinking everything. Why did she make them breakfast? Why did she feel so upset that he was suddenly visibly uncomfortable to be around her? Was he embarrassed of her- she was in pajamas and had her hair in a chaotic bun after all. Her insecurities consumed her. 

Aurora's face began heating up, the pain in the back of her throat returning as she tried to hold back her tears. Was she just being overly sensitive because she hadn't felt like this in such a long time? Or, was that entire experience truly as mortifying as it felt?

Aurora tried to brush off her negative emotions as the tears rolled down her cheeks, looking over to her painting from the night before. 

"This is what I wanted. I literally begged for this." She muttered to herself, not even bothering to wipe the tears that continued to flow. She walked over to her small painting corner, still messy from the night before, and sat down beside her painting. 

Maybe feeling again wasn't all she chocked it up to be. 

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(1,335 words)