Not a Fan (Wilbur Soot)

Breaking the Cycle

"Would it be bad if I did?" Wilbur found the words pouring out of himself before he could think twice about what he was saying.

"Wil-" Rori started, taking a step forward so she was no longer in his arms, instead turning around to be face to face with him.

"Sorry, really, don't answer that. It's late and I'm just, I'm not thinking very clearly." Wilbur interrupted, trying his best to muster up a smile. By the time he gained the courage to open his eyes, he wished he never had at all.

There's nothing worse than the look of disappointment on the face you love.

"Yeah, okay." Rori said quietly, being the first one to look away. Wilbur was struggling to understand if her disappointment was stemming from his half-assed confession or because of how quickly he withdrew it.

"I should probably head back." Wilbur said, taking a few steps backwards, using his thumb to point over his shoulder at her front door.

"I'd like it if you stayed for a bit longer, if you're okay with that." Rori said, walking around him and heading into the kitchen, flicking on her kettle.

Wilbur couldn't help but find himself a bit stunned by her response. Up until this point, Rori had been the queen of deflection and well, running away, to be blunt about it. For her to explicitly ask him not to run away almost felt like a joke.

Well, a joke or maybe growth.

"I can stay for a bit longer." Wilbur answered, quickly realizing how many seconds of silence were ticking by while he remained frozen in the walkway.

"Maybe we can also talk about it, you know, instead of ignoring it." Rori continued, glancing up at Wilbur walking towards her. She quickly turned around, grabbing two mugs from her cupboard.

"I don't want to push you." Wilbur said so quietly, he wondered if she even heard him. He slowly sat in his unofficially claimed seat, adjusting on the bar stool.

"Sometimes we need a push." Rori answered, setting down a mug next to Wilbur on the counter.

"Hey-" Wilbur started, reaching out and tugging on his flannel, which she was still wearing. The loose fabric that draped off of her managed to bring a gentle smile to his face, as thoughts of an idealized future crossed his mind.

Thoughts of Sunday mornings with Rori wearing one of his t-shirts like a dress, seeing that it would go to her mid thigh. Mornings where he'd wake up to the smell of coffee and her lips pressed against his own. Mornings that wouldn't actually get the chance to start until the early afternoon, because he would pull her back into bed, where they would stay for a few more hours in each other's arms.

"Wil?" Rori asked, briefly running her thumb across his cheek to regain his attention. "I think I lost you there for a second." She said with a small but genuine smile.

It was ironic in a way how he found himself struggling to focus on the Rori in front of him because he was becoming preoccupied with the Rori in his mind.

"Sorry, I guess I'm not the best company when I'm this tired." Wilbur let out a slight laugh. He wasn't sure why, but he found himself reaching out for her hair, gently tugging on hair band holding it in a very loose bun.

"You don't want-" She stopped, sighing, when the hair tie came out and her bun came tumbling down. "-to do that." She finished, pushing her hair out of her face.

"I don't know why I did that." Wilbur laughed, attempting to help brush a few hairs behind her back.

That was a lie. He loved her hair. Whether it was her usual soft brown curls and rose petal scent or paint splatters and the smell of saltwater, Wilbur found her equally as beautiful either way.