diary,
i
he
stood up, bugged me AAAAA
a
a
and
k
kissed my hand
his eyes looked filled with pain and fear
i could tell he really didn't think it'd go this way
hhhe even told me everything was perfect about me, which i replied "says you" too, throwing in a soft laugh, wanting to let him know everythings okay
looking at my hand, i started telling him how nice and lovely his hand felt, how rough it was, making me feel secure and loved, and how wonderful that little kiss was
i honestly didn't know what else to say, letting the room get quiet, seeing him go visibly nervous again
i assured him everythings okay though, wonderful even
and...i..i had to be honest
leaning forward, making the tips of our noses touch, i told him that I'd
actually never want to leave this room
i want to stay in this moment forever
i struggled to go on
moving my head even closer, our lips so close to touching that I'm surprised he didn't yet
throughout this whole time he just
kneeled there
shaken up positively by my reaction, being surprised by how close i was to him in this moment
aand
i
i did it
i kissed him, resting one hand on his shoulder and cupping his face with the other, after i closed my eyes
i could hear some
clothes rustling
i could very much tell that
he was afraid, since when i opened my eyes his were wide open
not afraid of me
more afraid of
doing something wrong, probably
which he couldn't ever
i gently, yet firmly grasped his wrist, slowly pulling his hand towards my waist, resting it there
telling him it's going to be alright and that i wouldn't ever be mad if he did anything
i mean i could've done so many things wrong but
I'd rather try than just
never
that's why I blurted out my feelings
even if he could've just made a sick joke
and now I'm here, making the one i love feel as loved as possible, covering his face in little smooches
i wanted him to know that i just
he'll never have to be scared of me rejecting him
he's too sweet and
honestly i
could never say anything bad to that face
unless it's a joke
and a good not hurtful one
i love him so much, honestly.
