diary,
i
he used his tth
tteeth
on me
it felt incredible
he seemed a bit weirded out but
i hope it wasn't too bad
or
that he just
didn't wanna weird me out by making a move
and well
it ended
sadly
but hey i got his number!!!
I'm gonna
spam him with messages when
schools over
but hey my last two classes are
theatre!!!
with my
second favourite teacher
though i don't like him in that way
he's just pretty cool with that scar on his lip!!
funny thing that
i got the role i wanted
because
i had the most motivation
playing the son of
the uh...
i don't know i forgot
but it was the son of a president
i had to cut my hair and curl it for
the thing
didn't have to dye it though, mark is pretty chill about hair color, so i didn't have to change my wacky purple white combination
funfact, i have a tattoo of the
first line of my favourite song in the opera theatre thing
it's a pretty funny german thing
called "Märchen im Grand-Hotel"
aka "fairytale in the Grand-Hotel"
being German makes the whole pronounciation easier
mark, our teacher, is
the only one who knows about...y'know..me liking jay
we talk alot, he's basically my therapist at this point
back then it was Felix but Felix and i rarely talk now since he's
in love
with Ethan
another member of our band.
they never come to practice nowadays and it's just me and Josh
Josh is a creepy idiot
he
he has a crush on me
and always tells me he'd be better, he's a student, it wouldn't be weird
he's waaaay nicer and warmer to me too!!!!! like woaaah!!! BECAUSE HE DOESNT HAVE TO FEAR THAT PEOPLE SEE HIM AS A CREEP
LIKE OF COURSE HE'S MORE OPEN ABOUT HIS FEELINGS
but even the warmer thing isn't true
the only thing he does differently is touch me without my permission and/or consent
it creeps me the fuck out
meanwhile Jay asked me if everything was okay every three seconds like dude
he cares about what I feel
he only does something with me if i tell him it's okay
unlike josh pushing his feelings onto me and pressuring me
like sure he's my best...and only..friend at this poing
but
man
i think I'll just make songs by myself now
good thing i actually know how to play like
violin
keyboard and the drums
and even the FUCKING saxophone because music is hella fun
I'll just
be my own band
i don't need anyone except jay and mark to keep me company
it's fine. sure they're teachers but as long as they are people i can talk to about my problems, and in jays case, love him, i have no problem with being "alone".
if i only get surrounded by people that think my ass is nice then i don't need anyone my age to hang out with
I'll find people who just
understand
that wanna have fun
in a
"hey let's do bullshit together and break our bones" way
just
like dumb highschool boys y'know
with anyone
i
ii
i just want friends to hang out with
oh whatever
I'm excited to see jay later
