every star in the sky

五

Xichen awoke with the most terrible headache, to the sound of a carriage rolling up outside. He rose quickly, cursing the sunlight that streamed into his eyes.

Was Wei Wuxian leaving early? He had promised Wangji another two days.

His blood pressure spiked at the thought of Wangji's disappointment. Wangji would never say it, but he missed Wei Ying when he was away. Wei Wuxian was like a fleeting moment, impossible to catch and Xichen was so afraid that he would break Wangji's heart one day.

He was still blinking the sleep out of his eyes when he opened the front door to see Wei Wuxian ushering Wen Qing into the house.

"Zewu Jun." Wen Qing bowed, and Xichen stiffened. He bowed back, deeper than hers. "I received an urgent message from Wei Wuxian last night."

Xichen sent a cutting gaze in Wei Wuxian's direction. Said man only looked unrepentant, tipping his chin up defiantly.

"Wei gongzi exaggerates," Xichen said quietly. "But thank you for coming."

"Is it your uncle?" Wen Qing asked as they walked.

Xichen inclined his head, jaw working.

"His condition has grown worse," he said, gently opening the door to Shufu's room. Shufu was still asleep, highly unusual for a man who got up with the sun. "He coughed up blood last night and collapsed."

"I will see what I can do," Wen Qing said, pulling out her needles. "In the meantime, you look like you need some breakfast, Zewu Jun."

Xichen managed a dry smile, thanking her once more before fleeing into the kitchen to compose himself.

Wangji wheeled himself into the kitchen just in time to see his brother wipe tears of relief off his face over the steamer full of buns. Xichen looked up when his wheels clattered in the doorway, eyes still glistening.

"Wangji," he whispered, his voice hoarse. "Why am I a failure?"

Wangji grasped at the edge of Xichen's robes, tugging until he got the message. Xichen buried his face into the crook of Wangji's neck, weeping as if his heart had broken.

"I couldn't save you when it mattered. Now I can't even help Shufu."

"Not a failure," Wangji said firmly. "Wangji was wrong. Will Xiongzhang accept my apologies?"

He wove a hand into his brother's hair, tugging at his ribbon tails gently.

"Always," Xichen whispered.

Wangji hesitated.

"Has Xiongzhang always felt this way?" he asked.

Xichen raised his head, brows furrowed.

"Like you failed me. Failed Shufu."

"I did," Xichen murmured. "If I hadn't ran when Shufu ordered me to, I could have been there to kill Wen Xu. I could have-."

He spared a glance at Wangji's legs and choked on his words.

"It was only a healer's theory," Wangji said quietly. "They didn't know if it would be possible."

"We could have tried. I would have tried," Xichen said with a wretched sound. "Sometimes, I really hate Wei Wuxian."

Wangji drew back, jaw working.

"Don't be upset," Xichen implored. "I'm merely envious."

"Jealousy is forbidden-."

"That's what I said," Xichen laughed brokenly. "But Shufu said we aren't in the Cloud Recesses anymore."