Regardless

Chapter 17: Losses

Wednesday 23rd, 3:08 am. *edited*

Jahseh's phone rang but he didn't budge so I picked up, my voice soft but still tainted with sleepiness, "Hello".

"Daniella!" Money answered, his voice filled with panic," Mayne she's bleeding and nearly out of it, and I- I think it's my fault mayne, I shoulda never left he-"

"It ain't the time to play blame game we coming over now! Pack her a bag to get her to the hospital!" I exclaimed, hanging up and shaking a groaning Jahseh awake while grabbing my sweats from my bag.

"Boy if you don't get your black ass up! Shaniah needs to go to the hospital, hurry up."

We rushed to their apartment, got all of her stuff, Jahseh helped Money carry her outside and I drove. We had to thank God that Naiomi was at Kym's. We got to the nearest hospital in about 15 minutes. They tried to maintain a conversation with her to keep her awake or as aware as possible as they carried her into a surgery room.

 Money was frantic, pasting the hospital halls with his head in his hands. Jahseh was sitting but the worry was etched in his features. I sat next to him, staring at the blinking light while panic rose on my insides.

About half an hour later, a female doctor came outside and Money sat next to us, his leg bouncing as he looked up at her. 

"Good Morning...she is stable but I'm sorry to tell you that the babies did not make it. If you had reached a tad later, that would not be the case. She is supposed to be awake by now so you can go see her."

Money waited until the doctors and nurses filed out of the room and were out of sight but still did not move. Tears ran down his face but he made no sound. Jahseh just patted his back in a supportive manner, tears welled up in his eyes but he looked conflicted and so was I. I felt for them. She expressed to me that she was so excited to have her babies. After he stood around,  lingering for a while, I got up and hugged him. His head just hung low on my shoulder as he cried.

"Why...why?...man I'm so fucking tired of this shit."

My heart broke at his tone but I answered, "It'll be okay. It'll be okay, I know it doesn't feel that way now, but it will. Y'all have to be there for each other."

"What do I say to her?"

"Just be there. Hold her hand."

"I just wanted my own Dani...I just wanted to call them ours. We deserved that...we have been through so much mayne. What did we do wrong this time?" he cried, his voice cracking.

He left and I just sat next to Jahseh.

"You know, I mentally prepared myself for this. I understood that it was possible but I can't process it. I thought that because I knew what it's like that I'd be able to be there. Say something. But I can't. I don't know how to be there for them like they were for me. Saying Goodbye before you say hello doesn't feel too nice. "

I held his hand," You being here on a whole is a good start b. Ain't shit right that you can say to change what happened."

He laid his head on my shoulder and I put my arm around him.

We respected Money and Shaniah enough to give them their space so we went home after just giving our regards. She cried when she saw Jahseh, just holding on to him. Money looked defeated, sitting by her, holding her hand. I hugged both of them, their grip almost stifling along with the sadness in the air. 

Money asked Jahseh and me to pick up Naomi and keep her for a while which we had no problem doing.

Thursday 24th June.