Regardless

Chapter 34.

We were in the waiting room in the hospital and though I thought I would have to bribe them, Luca handled it. Shaniah is in her own world clearly worried, Kym is gone and no one knows where and my baby is lying on my lap while I stare down at his features. If it was him, I don't know what I would have done. Money has been in surgery for about an hour but it feels longer. Every minute leaves a bitter taste and thought of what could be and my stomach churns.

The doctor came out of the room, with long agonizing steps towards us, he came to a stop, "He is stable, if he had arrived a second later, he would have died, when he is up, you can see him the nurse will alert you and lead you to him when he is out of the theatre. He will need rest and lots of it too."

Shaniah got up and kissed his cheek, giving him a thank you, making the young doctor blush, Jahseh visibly relaxed, but not even partly enough.

Soon he woke up and we piled into the room, he was gazing up at the boring ceiling but half-smiled when he saw us, not being able to move that much. Shaniah ruched to his side, "If you get me scared like that again, I shoot you in the head my nigga!" she kissed his cheeks and then his lips.

Jahseh went by him and he squeezed his foot as if to grip into the fact that he was still here. I smiled but tears ran down my face at how scared I was, "Bestie, "I nodded at him and he grinned back, "I love y'all sappy asses too, where is Kym at?"

"We don't know, "we answered.

"She needs to stop playing with her pussy so much, it's finna expire," he twisted his mouth and we chuckled. 

"Baby, way my pants at?" he asked suddenly.

"They cut it off and they gave me all that you had, Shaniah handed him the bag. He dug into it with one hand, taking out a pill bottle.

"I been carrying this around since I was 19, waiting to ask you at the right time, I got so close to asking you so many times but I told myself I didn't deserve you...and to be honest, I still don't but, imma be selfish, will ya marry me?" he looked at her.

Niah smiled, "Yesiirrr, I been waiting for you to ask, she stuck her hand out and after fumbling with the bottle he opened it and slid the ring on her finger. It was beautiful.

She leaned down and let he forehead touch his. You could see the happiness on both their faces.

Jahseh came and stood by me, leaning his head on my shoulder, whispering in my ear, "One day, that'll be us."

"I hope, "I turned toward him, "It's finally over, "I smiled and kissed his thick lips, "I'm so happy it's all over, "we held on to eachother.

Friday 16th October.

Jahseh looked at me through the window of his car while I cleaned mine. I just got back from work at my store. Last week I had a launch for the new designs and Jahseh's was the week before that. We brought a temporary place; a flat with a pool out back and a big front yard. I was playing Cole and Ari Lennox, Shea Butter baby and he was hardly doing what he was supposed to as he continuously stared at me. I was wearing his boxers and a t-shirt, my hair was in locs once for but it was tied messily on top of my head.

While I shined the car I thought back to the night of my birthday, We had a small get-together in Italy, during the day, Jahseh took me to an art show. Money was still resting so we chose to do it simple, just drinking and eating everything that Luca ordered.

Aaliyah chose to stay in Italy with him, claiming she's in love and that she understands what it means to be a Mafia wife.  Money and Shaniah are planning their wedding for January while taking good care of little Naiomi and helping Kym with Sarah as Erica is scared about her baby. She just started to show but she has complications.  Annie and Sherene are back and are busy. After some remodeling, the salons are up and running. She is managing two branches of the salon and Malinda's daughters are staying in the house with them. One of them is a hairstylist and the out is working with some of the designers in Jahseh's store. 

Naffy had eleven designs on my line and she is receiving funds as it comes in. She was in the school's remedial class all summer but she graduated and has a place on her own. 

Jahseh and I have been going to see a therapist. Basically, trauma control has been serving us well. We have also been going to church a lot and it's fulfilling. Soon, we will be reenacting what happened the day that James left. He was afraid at first, thinking about if I'd feel some type of way towards him but the idea of it is to have the reassurance that I am safe.  It's also to give him a sense of control. 

The first time I went back to the house that grew up in with him, he got mad. My old room had colder air to it and the plainness of it also gave it an irritating silence. On my desk, had a list of rules that James gave me, it remained in the open. The hooks from the ceiling, resembling the ones for the mosquito nets were so much more. The scrapings on the walls and 'the toy box' remained under my bed. I walked him through and he couldn't say anything, just looked at me with pity.

Suddenly I felt his arms around my waist, so I leaned back into his firm chest. he asked, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah."I kissed his lips, turning my head, "I love your fine ass."

"I love you too D, are you ready for next week?"

"Yeah, are you?"

"Will it help you too?"He asked.

"Yes, I believe it will.."

"Then I am, and I'm proud of ya for doing this, you deserve to be free."

"You do too baby, let's go start dinner, the guys will be here soon, "I said, turning off the hose.