𝐓𝐨𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐨𝐟 𝐃𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡

𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐔𝐄

I walked across the local cemetery, holding a bouquet of my mother's favorite flowers – white lilies. Stripes of dark green grass bent under my shoes, heavy as the heart I've been carried in my chest.

With the anxious feeling gripping my chest, I stepped closer to a cold tombstone and looked blankly at the engraved names until the individual letters mixed into illegible blot.

Beatrice O'Donnell and Lucifer O'Donnell.

It's been seven years... seven years since Carmine William White murdered my parents in cold blood. Seven long years since Leo Tokarewski disappeared from my life, and the only thing he left for me was a message sent through Tom.

Sorry. I had to.

Never forget what I told you.

Leo.

Sorry, you had to what? Leave me when I needed you the most. Betray me?

I didn't know which emotion I was supposed to live through first. Sadness? Grief? Anger? Vengeance? Everything at once? I wasn't even sure if I could feel anything. It felt like I died along with my parents. Nothing was the same. I wasn't the same. I felt like a picture with a broken frame. Like an empty vessel that cannot be filled again.

Where did it all go? My happiness, meaning of life, my soul? I know I had never been fully fulfilled, there was always something missing, but at least, there was a little bit. And now, I was empty again.

I put scented flowers on the ground and wiped the tears running down my face with the back of my hand. I'll never get rid of those nightmares... I'll remember White's words forever.

That was your father's choice. What yours will be like?

My gloomy thoughts were interrupted by a vibrating phone stored in the back pocket of my pants. For the last time, I looked at the two empty graves, then moved toward the car.

"Yes?" I asked.

"Ria, hi!" On the other side of the line came the voice of my best friend. "Robie is having a night out tonight, so I thought ... aren't we going somewhere?"

"Hmm, I don't know ... I kind of don't feel it for the time spent between people," I admitted, opening the door of the black Range Rover.

"It doesn't matter," Otto said quickly. "I know an activity where only the two of us can be alone." I smirked.

"Sooo Netlix and chill on your couch, right?" I guessed.

"Your guess is always correct, Ria O'Donnell," the comrade said commendably. "So what do you say to that?"

"That it sounds better," I said. "I'll bring a softener."

"That's my girl!" Exclaimed Otto excitedly.

"Well, I don't know if you'll be looking forward to not putting on more pants because of it," I chuckled. Otto growled.

"I said after all that he-"

"They shrank in waschmaschine, I know," I added, and laughed again.

Shit. The phone almost fell out of my hands when I realized what time it was.

"Eeeh, I'll get back to you later, work is calling," I blurted out, leaving Otto no room to resist.

I turned off the warm engine and just sat quietly, staring at myself for a while. I put on an FBI cap on my head and got out of the car. Immediately, I was greeted by a cold breeze that shook the treetops. I wrapped myself deeper in my work jacket.

I scanned the crime scene with my eyes.

What a house! I whistled appreciatively.

"Ria, you came," Kevin, my colleague, nodded.

"You know I won't miss any new case," I commented, crossing the yellow-and-black tape.

"Yes, I just thought that today..." he said. Then he lowered his head and started looking at his shoes. He knew what day it was today. He knew everything about me. I told him myself. And he still didn't turn his back on me.

"The past is the past, Kevin. We need to burry it and allow new life to grow in its place," I said, looking around. "What's the matter?"

"The murder of a man and a woman working for the mafia," a colleague told me about the situation.

"Did they have children?" I shook the first question. Kevin died.

"Just one. A daughter. Eight-year-old," he replied axially.

"Has anyone talked to her yet?" I asked. Kevin fired.

"I don't think it's-"

"What?" I jumped at him in an offensive tone. "Good idea?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Yes," he said cautiously.

"Very well," I said. Good ideas, bad idea ... they all end tragically for someone anyway. "So where's the girl?"

The answer to the question came immediately. A tall paramedic had just come out of the house, and a tiny little girl was walking beside him, looking like a dwarf next to him. I decided to ignore Kevin's remark (as I always do) and boldly walked over to them.

"Hi," I said. "Can I talk to you for a moment?" The pretty brunette nodded wearily. "It'll only be a moment," I promised the man in the red jacket. He left room for the two of us. "I'm Rio and what's your name?" I held out my hand to her.

"Jennifer," the girl replied, touching me with cold fingers.

"Jenny, that's a nice name."

"Thank you," Jennifer said, yawning. "I know why you're here. I've already talked to some weird and kinda funny man before." I paused.

"Was that man bald?"

"Yes," she nodded. I laughed quietly.

"Huh, that weird guy is my boss. And you're right, he's a little...weird," I admitted. "But I didn't come to ask you any more questions. I just came to tell you something."

"Tell me what?" The girl asked. I crouched down next to her and gently grabbed her by both shoulders, so she can not only hear and see my presence, but also feel. I've got a feeling that she needed it. Or maybe I did, who knows.

"It's just that your mom and dad loved you very much. In time, you may find out a lot about them and not all of it you will like. I want you to know that it doesn't matter. You have to focus on what they were like when they were with you. You have to remember the good things they did. And if you ever have doubts that you are heading in the wrong direction, to a place where it is dark – don't be afraid. Tell yourself that you are strong and that you can get back on track. Surround yourself with people who will show you the light. You don't have to be like them, you can be better. You can fight, but fight for the right thing. DNA doesn't define you. Your actions do." The tiny brown-haired girl sobbed. I wiped the sparkling tears from her chubby cheeks. "And remember...if you find something worth fighting for – don't give up. You'll only lose if you stop fighting."

And with those words, a slight smile appeared on my face. Heads up, little girl. We both have something ahead of us that we must defeat.