Doubts

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Trust me for one more chapter after this. I promise. Also, I commissioned a cover for Spotter from the same amazing artist as the Cherry cover. I can't wait for you guys to see it. 🥰

-Parks 🖤

Erwin was propelled forward by his ODM gear. Everyone on the wall snapped their attention to Erwin's scream. They all jumped to action and followed Erwin off the wall.

Despite his best efforts, it still took over a minute to get to Y/N. He had to ignore every instinct that was screaming at him to go straight to her. Instead, he zipped passed her and aimed for the Titan. He filleted its neck with ease, spraying even more blood on his clothes. As soon as his blades left the tissue, he put them away and headed back to Y/N. Out of his peripheral, he saw more Titans running at them. The commotion and the presence of humans in an otherwise abandoned area drew in all the surrounding Titans.

Without stopping, Erwin scooped Y/N up in his arms. They passed the others as they raced out to defend Erwin and Y/N from the incoming Titans.

Y/N was sobbing before she fully processed what happened. She turned her head and wept into Erwin's chest. She was so sure she would die down there, but then Erwin fell out of the sky. Is this real? Did I die?

Erwin landed on the wall and sat down, settling Y/N across his lap. She lifted her head to look at him, and Erwin felt sick at the damage done to her face. She had a cut on her forehead and a busted lip. Her eyes were swollen, and the majority of her face was clouded with purple bruises. Erwin was scared to look at the rest of her. He didn't want to believe any of this had happened to her.

With concentration, Y/N lifted her hand to Erwin's face, but stopped when she saw the state of it. She didn't want to dirty his face with her bloody, mangled hand.

Y/N gasped when Erwin's hand came up and sandwiched hers against his face. Her tears started a new when he nuzzled his cheek into her palm. He closed his eyes, and Y/N watched tears flow in rivulets down his cheeks.

"I'm sorry, Erwin," Y/N's throat was audibly dry, and her chin trembled.

He drew his eyebrows together, but Y/N couldn't tell if it was in confusion or anger. Erwin snatched her into a hug, pulling a gasp from Y/N.

"Please don't apologize." His grip on Y/N hurt, but she welcomed it. "I was so scared. I'm sorry I didn't find you sooner," his voice broke with emotion.

Y/N's mutilated fingers dug into Erwin's shirt. She couldn't shake the feeling that he would disappear, and she'd wake up in another basement. She heard the thudding of feet landing on the wall around them, so she peaked up over Erwin's shoulder. A sob wracked through Y/N at the sight of Hange, Levi, her squad mates, and all of her friends. They stood around the couple with solemn faces, quietly waiting so as not to interrupt them.

"I love you," Erwin said into her shoulder.

"I love you," Y/N mumbled back.

It was difficult for her to form the three words, and her eyelids grew heavy. Now that she was in the safety of Erwin's embrace, her adrenaline was fading. Erwin felt Y/N slump in his grasp. He pulled back to look at her.

"Y/N?" Erwin gasped when he saw that she had lost consciousness. "We need to go right now."

"The infirmary is ready for her at headquarters," Hange told Erwin.

"Thank you."

He looped his free arm back under her knees and stood up with her in his arms.

"Just a little while longer, little one," Erwin whispered. "Please."

~

Y/N woke with a start. Her heart raced as she tried to identify the unfamiliar space. Did I imagine Erwin finding me? Did I not make it back to the Scouts? She whimpered and closed her eyes.

"Y/N?"

She followed the sound of Erwin's voice and found him in a chair next to the bed.

"You're in the infirmary. You're safe."

Erwin tried to reassure her, but it was too late. Tears welled up in Y/N's scared eyes. In the days she spent alone, all she wanted was to be back in Erwin's bed, not here.

"Pleas-" Y/N's dry voice cracked. "Your room," she forced out.

Erwin shook his head while he helped her drink water. "You need to rest and get the medical attention you need. This is the best place for that."

Y/N couldn't explain the fear she felt at the thought of waking up anywhere other than Erwin's room again. As if it was a sanctuary from which Ryker could not take her. The tears overflowed and spilled down her cheeks. Panic flashed across Erwin's face.

"I want to go home," Y/N cried.

Erwin reached for her cheek and wiped away her tears with his thumb.

"Okay, Y/N. We'll move you to my room," Erwin said calmly.

Y/N nodded and sniffled. Her tears began to slow as exhaustion took over again.

~

Y/N's eyes snapped open. Even in the dark, she recognized the familiar room and relaxed a bit. Her body still ached, but she didn't have the same shooting pains as before. She turned her head and saw Erwin asleep in a big, grey armchair.

Why isn't he in bed?

She pulled her hand out from under the blanket and found that two fingers had been bandaged. Y/N extended her arm, and she was just able to tap Erwin's knee. He gasped and lurched forward, scaring Y/N. His eyes were wide like he was searching for something.

"It's me," Y/N croaked out.

He focused on her. "Y/N?" Then he really woke up, and added, "Gods you're awake??"

Y/N nodded. "Water," her voice was hoarse yet again.

Erwin sat forward and grabbed a glass of water from the bedside table. He lifted her head and held the glass to her lips. When she was done, he gently lowered her to the pillow and leaned back.

"Thank you," Y/N looked at him. I want to hold his hand.

Y/N lifted her hand back up to Erwin.

"Oh!" He lifted the edge of the comforter and guided her arm back to her side. As he replaced the comforter he asked, "Is that better, Y/N?"

Y/N nodded once. Maybe he doesn't want to hold my hand... Y/N wondered if she should be more self-conscious about her injuries.

"How long have I been asleep?" Y/N wanted to move on.

Erwin rubbed his eyes with the heels of his palms. "A little over two days since you last woke up. Three days in total." He sighed and looked up.

Y/N finally got a good look at Erwin's face. The dark bags under his eyes made it obvious just how exhausted he was. His face even looked a little thinner; Y/N wondered if she was imagining it. Either way, she hated seeing him like this, especially because of her.

"I'm sorry, Erwin..." Y/N looked away from him. "You must've been so worried."

"You have to stop apologizing, Y/N." Erwin shook his head and looked at his feet.

Y/N furrowed her brow. "Why are you being weird?" Her eyes got wide. She hadn't meant to say that out loud.

Erwin visibly tensed, but he didn't look up. "Y/N, I- I don't know what you mean."

"Well for one you keep calling me Y/N."

Now he looked up. "That's your name?"

Y/N huffed. "I don't want to argue. I'm still exhausted, so get in bed, Erwin." Y/N turned her head back to the ceiling and closed her eyes.

"Y/N-" Erwin cut himself off. "Little one. I don't want to hurt you."

"Wake me in the morning for breakfast," Y/N interrupted him.

Talking had worn her out more than she expected. She could hear Erwin sigh just before sleep pulled her under once again. 

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